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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
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Random Quote |
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"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
— Vice President Dan Quayle
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Snapple Facts |
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#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so stupid that she is sold the car for gas money.
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One Liners |
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Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
A: Her navel.
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 Three Men In A Plane | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 01/01/2001 | | |  |
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There are three passengers in a plane that's about to crash: the wisest man on earth, a student, and a politician.
When they find out that the plane is about to go down and there is only one parachute between the three of them, they debate about who would sacrifice his life for the country and who would jump to safety.
The politician says he's responsible for running the country, so of course, he should be the one to jump.
The wise man says he's got to serve mankind, so he should be the one who jumps.
The student says he is the future, and he should be the recipient of the parachute.
As the kid speaks, the wise man grabs the bag and leaps wildly out of the plane.
The politician is astounded, but the student remains calm.
"Why are you so calm? We're both about to die!" exclaims the politician.
The student replies, "Well, wisdom just leapt out with my school bag, so the future can hang on to politics and feel safe." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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More Political Jokes...
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ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
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You must register to participate in this discussion.
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goodtimegirl
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(01.03.2001 2:48:12 PM EST)
how do you make a sausage roll?
push it down a hill.
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The names have been changed...
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(01.02.2001 12:28:20 PM EST)
I've seen this joke in various forms for quite a while. The names change depend on who's telling the joke and who is suposed to be the "butt" of the joke. Sometimes the guy grabbing the backpack is G.W. Bush, sometimes it's Gore, or sometimes it's Bill Gates.
This is a recycled joke.
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AMEN ROOK!!!
(0 replies)
started by
ChaopS
(01.02.2001 9:18:16 AM EST)
Testify, my brother!!!
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To Calihankl...
(0 replies)
started by
rook30505
(01.01.2001 7:43:20 PM EST)
You left a party to go on the internet? I don't think you have your priorities straight homey. Pikachu is the devil.
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Uhhh....yeah
(0 replies)
started by
calihankl
(01.01.2001 5:36:55 AM EST)
Okie dokie...I just came back from a slammin' party to read this? I better stick with a porn page....
Hank"I know...but at least I'm not a million"
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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40% of Americans snoop in the medicine cabinets of homes they visit.
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