The Forwarder's Twelve Step Program
By: VirtualJul	Published: 07/14/2002
Can I get an AMEN here? Repeat after me: I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email! I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me. Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people! I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ... NEVER -- NEVER! There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people! There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS. The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO, NADA!! The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in God. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on! Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fall out! (Just Kidding... ) Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Amen, sister! (0 replies) started by crazyfingers (12.16.2002 6:56:59 PM EST) Not to mention that all those forwards with all your's and all your friend's email addresses that fall into some spammer's hands like pennies from heaven.

Hahahahaha (0 replies) started by kweenbee (07.15.2002 9:33:56 PM EST) I'm going to send this to some of my people. Love the country, live to pee outside!

Sigh.... (1 reply) started by ito (07.15.2002 8:13:28 AM EST) How about the Flashing Advertisment at the the top of the page, telling me that you won something, does not really mean I won anything?

This is one... (3 replies) started by bigdadlong (07.14.2002 12:11:18 PM EST) I'm definitely forwarding this on to all the *suckers* I tend to call friends that keep sending ME this bogus crap! It's an insult to my intelligence! AMEN AGAIN!

AMEN Sister! (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (07.14.2002 8:15:32 AM EST) I've emailed several people back and ask them ( or is that AXE them) if they ever got any of this to work. They say no but they are afraid if they don't then this will be the one that did work. Fucking People!

AMEN ! (2 replies) started by marvin (07.14.2002 3:09:10 AM EST) now what do I do with all these Victoria's Secrets gift vouchers I've been saving up ?

Hope you don't mind (1 reply) started by roger (07.14.2002 1:00:29 AM EST) but I emailed this to all my friends VJ... hahahaha Just protecting my sheep

Oh, and..... (0 replies) started by tjshere (07.14.2002 0:34:15 AM EST) Don't even get me started on well-meaning people forwarding virus hoaxes. A) 99% of all emailed virus warnings ARE hoaxes. B) It takes less than 2 minutes to check them out and verify their authenticity. C) By burying people with hoxes you're numbing them to the issue, thus making them unlikely to pay attention to any warning, even if it's legit. *steps down from soap-box* Oh my! Did I say all that? Never fear.....TJ's here!

A-freakin'-MEN!! (2 replies)   started by tjshere (07.14.2002 0:26:25 AM EST) The Red Cross one always cracked me up. Since the deal was that the RC would save this kid if enough forwards were achieved, that would indicate that if the goal wasn't met they were quite willing to let the kid die. Saint Peter: Gee, tough break, kid. What did you die of? Kid: Insufficient forwards. LMAO! Nice job, here, Jules. Never fear.....TJ's here!

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