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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
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George W. Bush |
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REPORTER: "[The California recall is] the biggest political story in the country. Is it hard to go in there and say nothing about it?" GEORGE W. BUSH: "It is the biggest political story in the country? That's interesting. That says a lot. That speaks volumes." REPORTER: "You don't agree?" GEORGE W. BUSH: "It's up to—I don't get to decide the biggest political story. You decide the biggest political story. But I find it interesting that that is the biggest political story in the country, as you just said." REPORTER: "You don't think it should be?" GEORGE W. BUSH: "Oh, I think there's maybe other political stories. Isn't there, like, a presidential race coming up? Maybe that says something. It speaks volumes, if you know what I mean." —Bush, sharing his insights on the 2004 election, Aug. 13, 2003. Source: Source: PBS Online News Hour, "California Certifies 135 Candidates in Recall Election," Aug. 14, 2003.
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Random Quote |
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"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
- Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
- Advising the President.
- Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
—David Letterman
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Snapple Facts |
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#185 A male kangaroo is called a Boomer.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is missing a finger and can't count past 9.
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One Liners |
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Q. What do Kabul and Hiroshima have in common?
A. Nothing ... yet.
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 58 Things NOT to say to a man in bed | | By: Dr.Evil | Published: 12/16/1998 | | |  |
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- I've smoked fatter joints than that.
- Ahh, it's cute.
- Who circumcised you?
- Why don't we just cuddle?
- You know they have surgery to fix
that.
- It's more fun to look at.
- Make it dance.
- You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
- Can I paint a smiley face on that?
- It looks like a nightcrawler.
- Wow, and your feet are so big.
- My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
- It's OK, we'll work around it.
- Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
- Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
- Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
- Oh no, a flash headache.
- (giggle and point)
- Can I be honest with you?
- My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
- Let me go get my tweezers.
- How sweet, you brought incense.
- This explains your car.
- You must be a growing boy.
- Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
- Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
- Are you one of those pygmies?
- Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
- Ever hear of Clearasil?
- All right, a treasure hunt!
- I didn't know they came that small.
- Why is God punishing you?
- At least this won't take long.
- I never saw one like that before.
- What do you call this?
- But it still works, right?
- Damn I hate baby-sitting.
- It looks so unused.
- Do you take steroids?
- I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
- Maybe it looks better in natural light.
- Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
- Oh, I didn't
know you were in an accident.
- Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
- Aww, it's hiding.
- Are you cold?
- If you get me real drunk first.
- Is that an optical illusion?
- What is that?
- I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
- Were you neutered?
- It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
- Does it come with an air pump?
- So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
- Where are the
puppet strings?
- Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
- Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!
- Nevermind, why bother.
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More Sex Jokes...
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ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
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You must register to participate in this discussion.
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I think...
(0 replies)
started by
caterpillar
(02.16.2001 9:09:15 AM EST)
I'v been told: 1-4, 16, 47, 49, and 58. At least, I'v got laid, that is the only thing that matters.
xxx
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Goofball Facts |
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School busses in the United States are Chrome Yellow but used to be Omaha Orange.
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