Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot). Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#209 The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,061 lbs.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly she just got a job at the airport sniffing for drugs.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
 
 


The 12 Politically Correct Days of Christmas

By: DrEvilPublished: 12/21/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses

and...ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Want to date lots of women?
Related Links
  • 12 Days of Christmas
  • A bad Christmas morning!
  • Politically Correct Feces
  • Christmas Disaster
  • Twas the Night Before Christmas (In Brooklyn)
  • Thanksgiving & Christmas
  • How to speak about women and be politically correct
  • Politically correct ways to say someone is stupid
  • DUI Excuse a Piece of Cake
  • Holiday greetings
  • Rudolph's way
  • political suicide
  • political Jokes
  • Political Correctness From Head To Toe?
  • Hilary on the Cover of Spy
  • The Clinton Memorial
  • You must be either white trash, a redneck, or a resident of Arkansas, if...
  • The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
  • Holiday Season Trivia
  • Santa delivers

  • More Holiday Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Well...... (0 replies)
    started by harrymonkbubble
    (12.21.2001 5:39:59 PM EST)

    .....I quite liked the joke.

    Maybe that's more a reflection on my ability to read the big words?

    BTW I'm glad all you other people are gone now. You were such a drag.

    Eat Me, Bitch Ass Mother Fucker! (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (12.21.2000 3:40:10 PM EST)

    Too fucking long. This joke is too fucking long. Condemn this fucking website.

    Crazy (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (06.20.2000 2:05:09 PM EST)

    This is to #1, SHUT THE F*CK UP!

    THIS WAS THE WORST JOKE I'VE READ FROM HERE!! (0 replies)  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (05.29.2000 6:01:46 AM EST)

    THIS JOKE WAS THE BIGGEST WAISTE OF TIME, FUCK DR. EVIL YOU FUCKING PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Why Is A Christmas Tree Better Than A Man?
    It's always erect, Stays up for 12 days and ...
    12.29.2007

    A Touching Christmas Story
    There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose ...
    12.15.2007

    Important Burial Decision
    A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation ...
    03.09.2007

    Redneck Christmas
    It was the night before Christmas, and all through ...
    12.20.2006

    Rate This!

    2.91 Goofballs of 5
    289 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Important Burial Decision
    A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation ...
    03.09.2007

    Redneck Christmas
    It was the night before Christmas, and all through ...
    12.20.2006

    Another Letter From Santa
    "Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He ...
    12.18.2006

    Holidays Tips For Eating
    1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
    12.16.2006

    Two Years Ago
    Making Early Christmas Lists
    Two young lads are talking about their respective ...
    06.14.2006

    Foul Mouth Johnny Christmas Joke
    Young Johnny has a cursing problem, and his father's ...
    12.16.2005

    Lookie Here!
    Mug Shots : Celebrities Under Arrest

    Goofball Facts
     
    The metal part at the end of a pencil is twenty percent sulfur.