Rules That Guys Wished Girls Knew
By: Rainmaker	Published: 03/02/1999
1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2) Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down. 3) Don't cut your hair. Ever. 4) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present! 5) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 6) Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. 7) Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks. 8) Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. 9) Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. 10) Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 11) Shopping is not sport. 12) Anything you wear is fine. Really. 13) You have enough clothes. 14) You have too many shoes. 15) Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. 16) Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad's way past idiot. 17) Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. 18) No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. 19) Pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. 20) Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 21) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. 22) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 23) Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend. 24) Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 25) Check your oil. 26) Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. 27) Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. 28) It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. 29) Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. 30) If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 31) If something we said can be interpreted makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. 32) Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? 33) Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. 34) You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done but not both 35) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 36) Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. 37) Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. 38) Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do. 39) Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty, and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines 40) The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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hmmmmmm (0 replies) started by dragonmaster666 (02.15.2001 6:51:52 PM EST) yet according to the message called "why bother", they can't spell either "Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war." -Marc Antony "The Tradgey of Julius Caesar"

Why bother... (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (02.08.2001 11:33:44 AM EST) The cat acts more like an adult anyway, never leave trails down the toilet, and washes itself. Companies have long since made better "toys" in replacement for the male penis. (AND YES SIZE DOES COUNT!!!!!!!)-Just like breasts!!!Really why keep men around at all?, All we really need is a fertilized egg..(Women work full time+ now, raise the kids, get paid lees, still have to do all the womanly household duties and aren't alowwed to b*tch about it")WHY? Cause men CANT handle it! The article was funny though, The Superior Sex -yes that would be the females, for all you guys who havn't figured it out yet..)

Why bother... (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (02.08.2001 11:32:57 AM EST) The cat acts more like an adult anyway, never leave trails down the toilet, and washes itself. Companies have long since made better "toys" in replacement for the male penis. (AND YES SIZE DOES COUNT!!!!!!!)-Just like breasts!!!Really why keep men around at all?, All we really need is a fertilized egg..(Women work full time+ now, raise the kids, get paid lees, still have to do all the womanly household duties and aren't alowwed to b*tch about it")WHY? Cause men CANT handle it! The article was funny though, The Superior Sex -yes that would be the females, for all you guys who havn't figured it out yet..)

Leykis 101 (0 replies) started by orty (11.30.2000 7:55:49 PM EST) Thats all pretty much stolen from the Tom Leykis Show.

too true (0 replies) started by kldoyle (11.18.2000 2:02:09 AM EST) that's just the way it is

fucking funny (0 replies) started by pnycar13 (08.25.2000 0:12:28 AM EST) everything on that is true- everything

I think that is reallly funny (0 replies)   started by cuteblueeyes2000 (07.14.2000 7:32:11 PM EST) that article is really funny but I wanna find one that talks about rules Girls wished guys knew. Naomi Cherie

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