Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"You know, let me talk about Al Qaida just for a second. I made the statement that we're dismantling senior management, and we are. Our people have done a really good job of hauling in a lot of the key operators. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. Abu Zubaida. Ramzi--Ramzi alshibh or whatever that guy's name was."—Bush, at a July 30 press conference Source: Washington Post, July 30, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if theycan help me, and I say,' Have you got anything I'd like?' Then they ask mewhat size I need, and I say, ' Extra medium.'"
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#210 1.3 billion pounds of peanuts are produced in Georgia each year.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly she looks like she's been bobbing for French fries!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
 
 


How To Be Politically Correct When Talking About Women

By: PeterTogiasPublished: 06/02/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN .

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT .

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE .

She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED .

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED .

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES .

She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION .

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER .

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE .

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE .

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION .

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY .

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT .

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE .

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT .

She hasnot BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION .

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE .

She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT .

She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION .

She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE .

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT .

She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED .

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED .

Shedoes not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY .

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE .

She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED .

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION .

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT .

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE .

She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED .

She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED .

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR .

She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT .

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Women Speak in Estrogen and Men Listen in Testosterone
  • Women Say Men are like...
  • Women Use Spray To Trap Cheating Husbands
  • Training Courses for Women
  • The Best Women To Marry
  • Women Sue State Over Vibrator Ban
  • Things Men want Women to know
  • Politically correct ways to say someone is stupid
  • The 12 Politically Correct Days of Christmas
  • Top ten things women would do if they woke up and had a penis for a day:
  • Advice From Men to Women
  • Women Bare All To Protest War
  • Things Women Should Never Say To A Naked Man
  • Learn from this women...
  • Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
  • Top Ten things only women understand
  • Army Buys Same Size Bras For 500 Women
  • How to impress Men and Women
  • Women on Viagra
  • Politically Correct Feces

  • More Top Ten Lists Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    AT LAST (0 replies)
    started by italiangirl11266
    (09.17.2000 3:46:40 PM EST)

    FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WOMEN

    Well, thery're true!!! (0 replies)  
    started by ashamancurtis
    (09.16.2000 11:26:09 PM EST)

    Just don't try to use them in a pollitically correct office!!!

    Insanity is not a detriment, it's a job requirement!!!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    25 Reasons I Owe My Mother
    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ...
    06.03.2008

    Top 10 Slogans That Belong On Colostomy Bags
    Top Ten Slogans That Belong On Colostomy Bags 10. “My other bag’s a Prada”
    04.25.2007

    You Know You Grew Up In The 80's If:
    You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if ...
    01.31.2007

    The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women
    #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
    10.18.2006

    Rate This!

    3.30 Goofballs of 5
    188 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Top 10 Slogans That Belong On Colostomy Bags
    Top Ten Slogans That Belong On Colostomy Bags 10. “My other bag’s a Prada”
    04.25.2007

    You Know You Grew Up In The 80's If:
    You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if ...
    01.31.2007

    The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women
    #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
    10.18.2006

    Two Years Ago
    Top Ten Reasons There are No Blacks in NASCAR
    # 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
    03.23.2006

    Lookie Here!
    The New Yorker 75th Anniversary Cartoon Collection

    Goofball Facts
     
    The world's smallest tree is the dwarf willow, which grows to two inches tall on the tundra of Greenland.