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George W. Bush

"If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all." - Remarks to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute, Washington, D.C., May 22, 2001

Random Quote

"When I give the order abandon ship, it doesn't matter what time I leave. If some people want to stay, they can stay."
— Captain Yiannis of the cruise liner 'Oceanos', which sank off the cost of Africa (Avranas was one of the first to get off the ship.)

Snapple Facts

#71 There is a town called "Big Ugly" in West Virginia.

Yo Mama ...

is so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

One Liners

Q. What do you call santa's helpers?
A. Subordinate clauses.

32,584 articles

October 15, 2008

557,126 postings

#!/usr/local/bin/perl $input_file = ""; $output_dir = "/mnt/web/guide/goofball/deadpool/files/"; $players_dir = "/mnt/web/guide/goofball/deadpool/players/"; $name_file = "person_data.txt"; $standings_file = $output_dir."standings.txt"; $master_file = $output_dir."masterfile.txt"; $url = "/deadpool/cgibin/deadpool.cgi"; $domain = "http://www.goofball.com"; $sysop_email = "coroner\@goofball.com"; $start_page = ""; #tournament_page.html"; require "../../cgibin/shared-lib.pl"; &create_standings; exit; ############################################################################ sub create_standings #10/15/97 12:21PM ############################################################################ { #print "Content-type: text/html\n\n"; open (FILE, "$master_file"); @LINES = ; close (FILE); my $entry_file = $output_dir.$name_file; open (FILE, "$entry_file"); @entries = ; close (FILE); foreach $line (@LINES) { $line =~ s/\n//g; if ( $line ne '' ) { push @results, $line; } } chdir($players_dir); #$ls = `ls $file`; $ls = `dir *.*`; @ls = split(/\s+/,$ls); foreach $temp_file (@ls) { if (-d $file) { $filename = "$file$temp_file"; if (-T $filename) { push(@FILES,$filename); } } elsif (-T $temp_file) { push(@FILES,$temp_file); } } foreach $data_file (@FILES) { open (DATA, $data_file); @LINES = ; close (DATA); my(@user_results); foreach $line (@LINES) { $line =~ s/\n//g; if ( $line ne '' ) { push @user_results, $line; } } open (RESULTS, ">>$standings_file"); $score = 0; $count = 0; $total_score = 0; foreach $item (@user_results) { #$item = s/\n//g; ($name,$score) = split(/;/,$item); if ($score) { $total_score = $total_score + $score; } } if (!($total_score)) { $total_score = 0; } print RESULTS "$total_score=$data_file\n"; } close (RESULTS); open (LIST, "$standings_file"); @LINES = ; close (LIST); print "Content-type: text/html\n\n"; my $body .= "\n"; $body .= "

1999 DeadPool Standings:

\n"; $body .= "

(Select the Players Link to view Picks)

\n"; foreach $data (@LINES) { ($item,$junk,$junk2) = split(/=/, $data); push @score, $item; } @sortedlines = @LINES[sort (order (0..$#LINES))]; $body .= "\n"; $body .= "\n"; $rank = 1; $prev_score = 0; foreach $rec (@sortedlines) { ($score, $player) = split(/=/, $rec); foreach $entry (@entries) { ($name, $em) = split(/\|/, $entry); if ($player =~ /$em/ig) { $player = $name; last; } } $url_str = $url."?email=".$player; $url_str2 = "function=view"; $body .= "\n"; $body .= ""; $body .= "

Rank	Player	Score
"; #we dont want to rank a person lower if they are tied for a place in the standings. if ( $score ne $prev_score ) { $body .= "$rank "; } $body .= "	$score[$a]; }

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Features

2008 Deadpool
Don't miss out ... If you are a Goofballer, it's free. If you are not ... become a Goofballer!
12.09.2007
Caption Contest - December 2006
Check out the silly picture below, give us a funny, witty, original caption and be in the running for a free ...
12.05.2006
Caption Content - November 2006
Check out the silly picture below, give us a funny, witty, original caption and be in the running for a free ...
11.01.2006

Classic Goofs

1 Poolside Beauty 4.81

2 Inspirational 4.67

3 South Beach 4.66

4 Body Paint Lingerie 4.65

5 Depth Perseption Test 4.62

6 Stand Back 4.55

7 Why Men Hide The Remote 4.52

8 Fresh Jugs 4.48

9 Look At My Chest 4.39

10 Do You Have A Good Plan For Tonight? 4.34

Poll Results

Sarah Palin, really?

I am comfortable with her being Vice President and even President

She's the most underqualified VP candidate imaginable

It doesn't matter, I am voting for McCain no matter what

235 Responses

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Goofball Facts

Female canaries cannot sing.