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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter
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George W. Bush |
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"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
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Random Quote |
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Man Thought Hurt But Slightly Dead
— headline from the Providence (R.I.) Journal
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Snapple Facts |
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#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
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One Liners |
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Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
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ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
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You must register to participate in this discussion.
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My good students....
(0 replies)
started by
Gunner96
(11.01.2000 7:19:32 PM EST)
let this model remind you of the distance one's finger may travel when exploring a virgin, and the painful visual reminder you may encounter over your life-span from such an expedition. That is all class...dismissed.
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handy
(0 replies)
started by
ava2000
(11.01.2000 12:27:57 PM EST)
I feel like i'm insured by Allstate
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Hi 5
(0 replies)
started by
zoom108
(10.31.2000 11:33:27 PM EST)
Give me 5 or ummm........Crazy!
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Bob calms down Giant-Man
(0 replies)
started by
ravenshadow
(10.31.2000 4:19:07 PM EST)
"Calm down Giant-Man, im sure he was just joking about that whole big hand joke", said Bob
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Proctologist New Equipment
(0 replies)
started by
dq4ou
(10.31.2000 1:31:08 PM EST)
Dr. A Nal Stinx displayed his new examintion tool. He states that after using his tool the possibility constipation relief is practically a sure thing.
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The good doctor...
(0 replies)
started by
engineer
(10.31.2000 11:06:00 AM EST)
Although they had just met, the Russian scientist Dr. Jirkov was deeply in love with Rosie.
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Big Things
(0 replies)
started by
squash66
(10.31.2000 10:24:20 AM EST)
Well gentlemen, you've always known that I like big things....
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furniture
(0 replies)
started by
eptkjones
(10.30.2000 11:44:32 PM EST)
This new chair will go great with my bigfoot sofa.eric jones
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Ansell
(0 replies)
started by
tutherdog
(10.30.2000 11:44:10 PM EST)
And dis is the rubber glove mould for a politicians proctologist, as we all know they are the biggest assholes in the world.The dog
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AT&T
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.30.2000 11:03:42 PM EST)
reach out and touch someone.
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The Good Old Days
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.30.2000 9:03:15 PM EST)
I remember when my hand was this smooth when I was young. Now it is rough and makes my penis sore.
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oh
(0 replies)
started by
malicioustom
(10.30.2000 2:36:19 PM EST)
if thats just the hand, imagine the sixze of the breasts!
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Warning to you Imperialist Pigs
(0 replies)
started by
thadude64
(10.30.2000 10:29:46 AM EST)
This is your last Warning, If the President Does Not Yield to My Demands, My Giant Hand will Crush all of your... Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
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!@#!$!@$#%!@$
(0 replies)
started by
zansk
(10.30.2000 10:16:41 AM EST)
Imagine this thing rubbing your balls
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Hot Stuff
(0 replies)
started by
mbr125
(10.30.2000 10:05:39 AM EST)
You know what they say about a guy with big hands...
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this sucks
(0 replies)
started by
costello666
(10.30.2000 1:47:22 AM EST)
Here, I have the biggest hand, do I win the poker game?I HAVE A SNAKE
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We mus be hoid.
(0 replies)
started by
oldman47
(10.29.2000 8:22:52 PM EST)
N.A.A.C.P. claims to have found the original hand from the Statue of Liberty. (Quote):" We mus' not let de "merican peoples live dis lie one mo minute" (unquote)Well I'll be damned !
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wow
(0 replies)
started by
wyza
(10.29.2000 1:24:01 PM EST)
handjob
nifty
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kingcamode
(0 replies)
started by
philbramall
(10.29.2000 2:41:55 AM EST)
You should see the size of my shoe!what do you eat for breakfast Trebeck?Great Site!!
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A huge & beastl,Kong.
(0 replies)
started by
luvly1
(10.28.2000 8:47:31 PM EST)
He was a huge, beastly thing, my Kong, King Kong,...! I'm a changed man since we met! He touched the inner me!
Luvly1
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No! Nooooooooo!!!
(0 replies)
started by
scrotor40
(10.28.2000 8:33:13 PM EST)
Johnson couldn't remember how many times he'd told Washington to stay away from his em-big-ulator machine, but it was a moot point now; he leaned back for support, fighting off the sweat fumes. Welcome unconsciousness embraced him before he was crushed in his vengeful colleague's death-grip.
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Edward SissorHands
(0 replies)
started by
Soozan
(10.28.2000 12:13:12 PM EST)
...suddenly Edward became aware that the good Doctor had remembered his request for human hands...Too late Edward realized that anyone who gives you sissors for hands in the first place should not be depended on.Write if you get work.
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Spock!!
(0 replies)
started by
saturn
(10.27.2000 11:46:43 PM EST)
I AM YOUR FATHER!George W Bush for President!!
Al Gore lies EVERY time he opens his mouth.
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warmimg
(0 replies)
started by
tsunamismiley
(10.27.2000 9:36:24 PM EST)
billy the midget "So I said 'touch this jacket and you will be pulling back a stump', but he just wouldn't listen".
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JC
(0 replies)
started by
patchyfuzzface
(10.27.2000 5:58:04 PM EST)
Misinterpreting the sculpture dave slaps the giant hand while shouting
"Amen Brotha!"
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Scare tactics
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.27.2000 4:14:58 PM EST)
Now, Billy, if you don't stop all that masturbating your hand will end up looking just like this one.
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question
(0 replies)
started by
benderover
(10.27.2000 0:16:35 AM EST)
...now who else is gay raise your hand.ill keep on winning as long as the world keeps spinning.
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truth
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.27.2000 0:04:51 AM EST)
...now this model explains why african americans have such big nostrals.
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Hidden Surprise!
(0 replies)
started by
woodsy
(10.26.2000 9:38:41 PM EST)
Believe it or not, the other hand is half way up my ass!
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Shaq's hand
(0 replies)
started by
tOnIcHoRiZoNs
(10.26.2000 9:28:18 PM EST)
"Now if I could only get one of Shaq's shoes, my life will be complete!"I didn't do it.
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Bend over
(0 replies)
started by
redbear
(10.26.2000 8:33:44 PM EST)
...and this one is going in the foyer at The Proctology Hall of Fame.
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Give me a hand
(0 replies)
started by
Anthony
(10.26.2000 5:20:12 PM EST)
I said give a big black man a hand, not give me a big black hand!
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heh
(0 replies)
started by
shrimpgumbo
(10.26.2000 3:26:11 PM EST)
Unfortunately for Dr. Green, former world mercy fight champion, he had no idea what he was up against.The monkey did it.
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Wait A Minute......
(0 replies)
started by
moeman
(10.26.2000 10:42:36 AM EST)
I asked for someone to lend me a hand......but this is ridiculousYawannapeekmypeepee????
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Wait A Minute......
(0 replies)
started by
moeman
(10.26.2000 10:37:12 AM EST)
I asked for someone to lend me a hand......but this is ridiculousYawannapeekmypeepee????
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Doctor's Fun
(0 replies)
started by
Ipainthamsters
(10.26.2000 10:07:49 AM EST)
Now don't be afraid Mr. Johnson, but this cavity search might hurt just a little bit."Wait, how did that go again?"
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Douche
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.26.2000 10:05:47 AM EST)
Listen I told you I liked it rough, now strap this puppy on and douche my dammnit!
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Uh oh!
(0 replies)
started by
Ipainthamsters
(10.26.2000 10:04:22 AM EST)
This sex toy is the reason why Pee Wee Herman got caught in that movie theater."Wait, how did that go again?"
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OJ, OJ, OJ
(0 replies)
started by
miike4
(10.25.2000 11:50:49 PM EST)
I told you OJ's glove didn't fit.Just shake that ass and I'll give you a dollar
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stupify
(0 replies)
started by
tuck025
(10.25.2000 10:52:29 PM EST)
kernel sanders ladies and gentlemen give him a big hand
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KING KONG
(0 replies)
started by
tuck025
(10.25.2000 10:46:07 PM EST)
king kong must have never masterbated his hand is'nt hairy.
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Not prudent
(0 replies)
started by
mushroomfg
(10.25.2000 9:20:52 PM EST)
We had to separate them as we feared them clapping.
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Party
(0 replies)
started by
CarlucciCN
(10.25.2000 8:51:34 PM EST)
It's my Party Damnit!
And I'll cry if I want to....
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hi
(0 replies)
started by
abab
(10.25.2000 6:31:48 PM EST)
my name is richard dragon, dick for short. and this is my date for this evening
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caption contest
(0 replies)
started by
zelas
(10.25.2000 5:05:26 PM EST)
Dick never understood why gallery patrons broke into laughter during this part of the tour.
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Full of it.
(0 replies)
started by
mwilder
(10.25.2000 10:07:57 AM EST)
Yes my dear. I sculpted this hand,,,,,and the statue of liberty,,,,yeah thats the ticket.
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Tech Doctor
(0 replies)
started by
thebiglittlebrother
(10.25.2000 7:29:33 AM EST)
I told you we had a big digital upgrade in our equipment. Now I really should lubricate this before your rectal exam.....Mild Child Zinc Positive
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Hand Model
(0 replies)
started by
thebiglittlebrother
(10.25.2000 7:15:52 AM EST)
"...over there is a sculoture of my penis to the same scale, opposite the sculpture of my butt."Mild Child Zinc Positive
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bend over
(0 replies)
started by
brdlysean
(10.25.2000 1:10:01 AM EST)
The cover for the new book "my ass hurts: The Real-life horror story of an enema patient"
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Hand
(0 replies)
started by
snooplsm
(10.24.2000 11:00:29 PM EST)
They will never know i molded this after the hand i masturbate with.Jakup Higgingsburg
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Math Professor
(0 replies)
started by
pcmasteral
(10.24.2000 4:15:54 PM EST)
Knowing that a mans hand is directly related to the size of his penis. Could you then calculate the size of the penis of a man bearing this size hand? ok,begin.
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Math Professor
(0 replies)
started by
pcmasteral
(10.24.2000 4:05:32 PM EST)
Knowing that a mans hand is directly related to the size of his penis. Could you then calculate the size of the penis of a man bearing this size hand? ok,begin.
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Pleasure tool
(0 replies)
started by
Justfux
(10.24.2000 3:35:54 PM EST)
Lousy at foreplay? This new protoype can pleasure you, your spouse and your three horniest friends without fail. Never gets soft and feels like the real thing. Great at reunions, parties...hell anytime anywhere never leave unsatisfied.
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i'll take it!
(0 replies)
started by
rmlippert
(10.24.2000 1:44:53 PM EST)
i'll take it. finally, a hand big enough to cup my wife's ass!
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Moral of the Story
(0 replies)
started by
hbbbb
(10.24.2000 12:47:48 PM EST)
...so when a gang of mueseum thugs tell you to shut up about the sculpture or they'll shove up your ass, do not answer " O' Yeah, I'd like to see you try it". Take it from me and just keep your mouth shut.
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Moral of the Story
(1 reply)
started by
hbbbb
(10.24.2000 12:46:53 PM EST)
...so when a gang of mueseum thugs tell you to shut up about the sculpture or they'll shove up your ass, do not answer " O' Yeah, I'd like to see you try it". Take it from me and just keep your mouth shut.
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SHAQ
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.24.2000 11:46:13 AM EST)
YO BOYZ, WATCH ME SLAM DUNK THIS CRACKER
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headline reads.....
(0 replies)
started by
rudicles
(10.24.2000 7:43:51 AM EST)
BIG BOY TO CASH IN ON DENNY'S BIGOTRY-WORK BEGINS ON BIG BRO THEME
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dr laura says.....
(0 replies)
started by
corkballs
(10.24.2000 1:25:11 AM EST)
dr. laura told me that if i wouldn't stop being gay that she would cut my left hand off and put it on display at the mgm grande in las vegaswhassup
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Bob's mistake
(0 replies)
started by
posipour
(10.23.2000 10:56:30 PM EST)
Bob realizes a little too late that it may not have been a good idea to ask his smart ass brother, Bill, to give him a hand.
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Oprah Mishap
(0 replies)
started by
sabeski
(10.23.2000 12:29:04 PM EST)
Dr. Gutsize stands on the 10th floor of ABC studios comforting the swollen hand of Oprah that has, along with her body, grown to at least 15 times normal in the latest development of her on air dieting being filmed on the 1st floor.It's a friggin freakshow out there today. Sabertooth rotz
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OH SURE
(0 replies)
started by
jklesel
(10.22.2000 11:45:10 PM EST)
Who let the dogs out?
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Contest
(0 replies)
started by
wiremike
(10.22.2000 9:50:51 PM EST)
Upon seeing this, Earl put his little insuficient hand in his pocket and decided he had a new lover.Bite me.
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in memorium...
(0 replies)
started by
cooley
(10.22.2000 8:11:15 PM EST)
And here we have the memorial to the
late Dr. Stinkfinger...
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It feels good.
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.22.2000 7:26:01 PM EST)
I could go for a hand job right about now.
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Boy...
(0 replies)
started by
Mynok5
(10.22.2000 1:48:03 PM EST)
Do you wanna feel the back of my hand, boy?my 80 year old husband is shaving his balls...What can I do?
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Yeah..
(0 replies)
started by
Bman65
(10.22.2000 12:39:23 PM EST)
Looks plastic, but feels real
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chicks dig it
(0 replies)
started by
jrat
(10.22.2000 5:18:43 AM EST)
yes, the thumb is very large, but look at the size of this middle finger.The Rat
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For my next trick...
(0 replies)
started by
hampster57
(10.21.2000 11:01:17 PM EST)
Captain Kangaroo does "I'm A Little Tea Pot" while inflating a black rubber glove with his Aaaass
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Hand in October
(0 replies)
started by
rigol2000
(10.21.2000 10:46:31 PM EST)
"My everlasting love for my wife prompted me to sculpt this statue of her."<*** RIGOL2000 ***>
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fart
(0 replies)
started by
fish
(10.21.2000 9:19:16 PM EST)
ahem! Excuse me, I just farted
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i
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.21.2000 4:33:14 PM EST)
i'm soo old; and this hand is so damn big.
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Moving over......
(0 replies)
started by
punanimuncher
(10.21.2000 3:47:13 PM EST)
...here's one I dumped earlierBlood, guts, guns, cuts, knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts.
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god i need a hand job
(0 replies)
started by
nos4ra2
(10.21.2000 12:27:56 PM EST)
to do list
1)get tissue
2)get lotion
3)rent debbie does dallas 5
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Da Hand
(0 replies)
started by
richtonpark
(10.21.2000 11:42:39 AM EST)
Hey ladies, you know what they say about man with a large black hand behind him. By the way, what do you think of my jacket?
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The black
(0 replies)
started by
hardball
(10.21.2000 8:46:38 AM EST)
The black planet is coming and this
is the hand that will be clearing the way.Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.Don't ask what you country can do for you. Get off your lazy fat ass and get a fucking job.
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Primitive Math
(0 replies)
started by
IPaintHamsters
(10.21.2000 2:57:46 AM EST)
....and this is what was used before the calculator was invented...."Wait, how did that go again?"
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Police
(0 replies)
started by
IPaintHamsters
(10.21.2000 2:55:48 AM EST)
The NYPD wish to test it's new weapon in the fight against drug-smuggling. Spread 'em boys...it's CAVITY SEARCH time!"Wait, how did that go again?"
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Police
(0 replies)
started by
IPaintHamsters
(10.21.2000 2:55:35 AM EST)
The NYPD wish to test it's new weapon in the fight against drug-smuggling. Spread 'em boys...it's CAVITY SEARCH time!"Wait, how did that go again?"
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Dumbass
(0 replies)
started by
IPaintHamsters
(10.21.2000 2:53:41 AM EST)
Why yes...by me standing here with my hand in my pocket, it attracts ALL the ladies because...what? Oh this giant hand BEHIND me! I have no freakin' clue what it's about!"Wait, how did that go again?"
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Caption Contest OCT2000
(0 replies)
started by
mikten
(10.21.2000 1:24:34 AM EST)
For a while it was considered to be a suspect in the OJ Simpson case but then it was found that the blood spattered glove did not fit.
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contest
(0 replies)
started by
chorze
(10.20.2000 11:50:46 PM EST)
This handjob I shall never forget!
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contest
(0 replies)
started by
HEATHERF
(10.20.2000 11:08:27 PM EST)
NEW FROM GODIVA CHOCOLATES & JUST IN TIME FOR EASTER.....IT'S CHOCOLATE COVERED HAND!(EASTER BASKET NOT INCLUDED).
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Big Bad Thumb
(0 replies)
started by
abigator2000
(10.20.2000 1:05:16 AM EST)
Big thumb, big bad thumb.
They don't get any bigger or
badder.
monkeypants
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messey
(0 replies)
started by
bluegoo80
(10.19.2000 10:42:38 PM EST)
Now if you only had an ass that big so you could wipe yourself, ouch!!
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Ohhhhhh yeah!
(0 replies)
started by
Ruffiano2
(10.19.2000 2:15:02 PM EST)
Now if I just had a penis this big, masturbating would be interesting!
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Caption Contesr
(0 replies)
started by
zen35
(10.19.2000 2:06:47 PM EST)
HIGH FIVE !!!!!!!!!!ZENDECON wuz Here
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Ah Dr. Livingston i presume.....
(0 replies)
started by
moeman
(10.19.2000 10:02:33 AM EST)
I've been searching for this wild beast for years...After "Coming to America" I had spotted him........Arsenio Hall....yes i killed him and lopped off his hand for proof......Yawannapeekmypeepee????
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Bite Me
(0 replies)
started by
MKacpro
(10.19.2000 9:53:06 AM EST)
HANDS OFF!
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My first time!!!
(0 replies)
started by
abovthecrowd
(10.18.2000 10:53:13 PM EST)
It is the exact replica of my hand the moment I made contact with a real vagina! By the way, it was also the last time I had such an encounter
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Prostate Exam
(0 replies)
started by
DungBeetle
(10.18.2000 10:51:18 PM EST)
Ahhh man this is my secong prostate exam today!!!What smells??
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Dr Dr
(0 replies)
started by
CarlucciCN
(10.18.2000 9:57:18 PM EST)
Dr Crebbs was subsequently fired when he revealed that the million dollar grant he was rewarded for molecular research was spent trying to determine how many licks it would take to get to the tootsie roll center of a giant tootsie hand
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I'm leaving you Mildred.
(0 replies)
started by
anarchist
(10.18.2000 1:59:55 PM EST)
My Dearest Mildred,
I thought that you should know that the reason for my leaving you is that Paul Bunyan says I can be the ring on his finger. Babe the blue ox is jealous but sends his regards.
Edwin
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The sex talk
(0 replies)
started by
anarchist
(10.18.2000 1:50:41 PM EST)
...and kids if you should find yourself without a partner....
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Your message title
(0 replies)
started by
SpensorForhire
(10.18.2000 12:46:32 PM EST)
You should see my feet.
or
Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!
or
'My left hand', by some pretentious artist. Your mother was a snowblower.
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...
(0 replies)
started by
rudicles
(10.18.2000 10:43:04 AM EST)
Ogden, UT (AP)- IRS agent and Al Gore supporter Hugh G. Taxes unveils the new welcome statue for the expansion wing of the IRS Service center in anticipation of a Gore victory in November. Here he is seen giving a brief explanation on how taxes are collected and re-distributed for things like the badly needed Eliminate Goofy Jacket/Hair Plug Bill about to announced as Gore's number one priority after several focus groups deemed it so.
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...
(0 replies)
started by
rudicles
(10.18.2000 9:32:34 AM EST)
My CLUE suggestion is the crime was committed by Professor Plum, in your ass at the museum, with a giant hand.
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Hands
(0 replies)
started by
jlight111
(10.18.2000 3:07:25 AM EST)
You know what they say about the size of a man's hands..........
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Inspiration
(0 replies)
started by
bnolanf
(10.18.2000 2:20:58 AM EST)
I got the inspiration for this piece during a Baywatch marathon.
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insanephat
(0 replies)
started by
insanephat
(10.17.2000 11:52:38 PM EST)
george sat gazing at the stars, not realizing that king kong had gotten loose.
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O.K
(0 replies)
started by
bignate32
(10.17.2000 10:39:17 PM EST)
Lady's this magnificent peice will bring you much pleasure if sat on properly.
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Big Hands!
(0 replies)
started by
stevefurman
(10.17.2000 4:59:30 PM EST)
You know what they say about guys with big hands! But how much lube would I need for that!
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Ohhhhh I'm Drooling!
(0 replies)
started by
stevefurman
(10.17.2000 4:57:57 PM EST)
Enough of this hand job stuff already. Ohhh I'm drooling! I can't wait, to get to third base, you know what they say about guys with big hands! how much lube would we need for that!
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captions
(0 replies)
started by
4string
(10.17.2000 2:35:22 PM EST)
I have 3 submissions
1. I wanted a hand job but this is ridiculous.
2. The downfalls to anal fisting...turd hand!
3. With this creation, I can finally satisfy 5 women at once.
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your finger wouldn't poke thru.....
(0 replies)
started by
pagangoddess35
(10.17.2000 1:11:18 PM EST)
FYI...If you invest in a higher quality toilet paper...such as maybe a two-ply for instance...this could quite possibly remedy your problem...and hey...smell my finger.
~V~" FUCK THE DUMB SHIT...SUCK MY KISS!! "
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Poop
(0 replies)
started by
tedunderhill
(10.17.2000 12:58:00 PM EST)
It took me twenty years to make this exact replica of my hand using my own feces. Same with the jacket I'm wearing.
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As you can see . . .
(0 replies)
started by
bocadean
(10.17.2000 9:44:24 AM EST)
I wanted prosthetic hands to replace my deformed flippers (I'll only show you the right hand), but I said "peaches and cream complexion," not "picture Kareem's complexion!"As usual, slow to load and stupid to see.
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Steve Irwin
(0 replies)
started by
Azrael1979
(10.16.2000 10:32:57 PM EST)
Later in life, Steve Irwin (aka The Crocodile Hunter) grew tired of handling the worlds most dangerous snakes, so he turned his attentions to the worlds most dangerous sex toys. "What a little beauty? This bastard killed my wife!"A lynching is the perfect example of Democracy: mob rule.
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Dr. Longshaft
(0 replies)
started by
dcv3
(10.16.2000 7:38:16 PM EST)
Dr. Longshaft poses next to his discovery be before he sets off to find the world's largest penis.
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No way
(0 replies)
started by
schemp
(10.16.2000 4:58:48 PM EST)
"No seriously Dr. Stankfinger, five bucks says I can take the thumb up to right about...here."
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Seriously
(0 replies)
started by
jaquesbigslong
(10.16.2000 4:34:24 PM EST)
No, seriously, my wife would go for this.
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Caption Contest
(0 replies)
started by
CherylSimmon
(10.16.2000 3:32:28 PM EST)
And we all used to wonder how the Jolly Green Giant got off...
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That Explains It
(0 replies)
started by
Chet4207
(10.16.2000 12:40:55 PM EST)
I was wondering why sex with my wife was like throwing a ping pong ball down a bowling alley. One day I came home and found a note to my wife with this statue. The note said "Here's is the life size hand statue I've had done. You know about the rest of me" Signed.. Lover Boy.Chet4207
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Wet
(0 replies)
started by
vaughan101
(10.16.2000 2:03:44 AM EST)
The missus wanted the hand stuffed but she couldn't resist using it before it was dry.... she stays kinda wet now.
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Big Hands
(0 replies)
started by
bjoe1181
(10.16.2000 1:14:02 AM EST)
You know what they say about guys who have big hands don't you, well u should see the rest of this guy. WOW!!!
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Caption
(0 replies)
started by
tutherdog
(10.15.2000 11:49:23 PM EST)
Dr Fredrich Von Pooperpoker outside the New York Proctology ClinicThe dog
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caption contest
(0 replies)
started by
foleym99
(10.15.2000 4:10:40 PM EST)
...consequently, foreplay was out of the question."It's called reading, left to right top to bottom."
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It takes a lotta lube...
(0 replies)
started by
nexs1
(10.15.2000 3:59:18 PM EST)
What youre not seeing is the twenty foot jar of Vaseline jus to the right. Can you imagine the tissues this guy goes through?
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Paging Dr. Freud...
(0 replies)
started by
Vamp
(10.15.2000 11:39:33 AM EST)
..and then Dr. Freud said "sometimes a finger is just a finger".
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Lifeline
(0 replies)
started by
AndyA
(10.14.2000 8:46:04 PM EST)
.. this is your life-line, and it looks like you should lead a long life with huge successes.You dress your mammy!
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check up
(0 replies)
started by
petemaus
(10.14.2000 8:40:07 PM EST)
sir.. you can either let me do it or i can get some help!!!:~)
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THIS HAND!
(0 replies)
started by
bschmitty
(10.14.2000 9:11:54 AM EST)
This hand is your hand
This hand is my hand
From the gulf stream waters
To the new york highlands
This hand is your hand
This hand is my hand
This hand was made for you and me!
iluvagoodgame
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Vibrator
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.14.2000 8:36:16 AM EST)
Now Class!!! This is my new sit on Vibrator.... My hand feels very....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!
Class Dismissed!!!
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Big hands
(0 replies)
started by
bono78
(10.13.2000 12:25:06 PM EST)
Prof. Von Sloop always got ass because he was known for having big hands.
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I'm Baaaack
(0 replies)
started by
methos316
(10.13.2000 10:34:42 AM EST)
Maybe burying Sonny liston in Selafield wasn't such a good idea!!Shit happens. Get over it.
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caption contest
(0 replies)
started by
lemaygirl
(10.13.2000 8:07:19 AM EST)
keep your finger on the pulse of american humor
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Read between the lines...
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.13.2000 4:23:52 AM EST)
You should see this guy's dick -- it's really small!
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When Magic Tricks Goes Bad
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.13.2000 3:34:08 AM EST)
Tony the magician is busted as he is caught in the middle of his magic act, check out his left hand. After wards, the magician said he was just "stroking it"
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stinky pinky
(0 replies)
started by
supertex
(10.12.2000 11:37:00 PM EST)
"if i just avert your attention to the thumb with my right hand, you won't notice me playing pocket pool with my left hand"
....and that is how the intestinal track of spider monkeys works...any questions? *a dark hand looms in the back of the class*
"i'm sorry, but the receptionist position requires that your fingers actually FIT on the keyboard"
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snowball
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.12.2000 9:07:24 PM EST)
So this is what it feels like to be a snowball.
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Oh Hell.!
(0 replies)
started by
azazell
(10.12.2000 6:36:09 PM EST)
Professor Rotzincrotch demonstrating the proper finger insertion technique.
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caption
(0 replies)
started by
jonnboy
(10.12.2000 5:28:26 PM EST)
as you can see, the glove is too big......"My other ride is your momma"
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survivor
(0 replies)
started by
ReneaG
(10.12.2000 2:31:45 PM EST)
"and unfortunately, the arm is still in my ass."
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October Caption Submissions
(0 replies)
started by
BDevil
(10.12.2000 7:39:44 AM EST)
FOUR GUESSES:
1. "I'm not only the Hand Club president...I'm also a client."
2. "Live long and prosper."
3. "High five is fine...just don't pat me on the ass."
4. And the amazing thing is that despite not having a brain or the ability to think, the hand STILL has better fashion sense.Hey folks,
Sorry this page isn't more detailed.
I'm a little busy at the moment, but I hope to spice things up a bit when I get some free time.
By the way, if you like this sort of stuff, check out http://www.collegehumor.com (similar idea).
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king kong
(0 replies)
started by
PyroNJ
(10.12.2000 2:16:49 AM EST)
the actor that lost his job to fay wray!!
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egore von poop
(0 replies)
started by
beanie51449
(10.11.2000 10:35:46 PM EST)
artist egore von poop displays his latest sculpture. all made from his own feces.
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No johnny...
(0 replies)
started by
LadyBitch
(10.11.2000 9:55:23 PM EST)
Well, children, let's move on to the next piece. No Johnny, you can't touch it. Yes Johnny, it is a big hand. Yes johnny, he would wear big gloves. No Johnny, you can't take it home. I don't care if you're mom would like it.GRRRRRRR
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King Kong
(0 replies)
started by
Gatorboy00
(10.11.2000 9:03:39 PM EST)
"Now, This is the infamous hand who belong to King Kong, I shot his hand off because he was always masturbating"
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caption contest
(0 replies)
started by
Nicademus
(10.11.2000 8:22:34 PM EST)
"I'd like you to me my partner in proctology... Paul Bunyan"Down with a Lil' Sumpin Sumpin
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all u suck
(0 replies)
started by
thouchosen1
(10.11.2000 8:22:27 PM EST)
wow!!!! i wish my hand was that big. It would definitly cum in HANDy with my oversized cock.
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ETHAN ALLEN SALE
(0 replies)
started by
edgefatboy
(10.11.2000 4:59:54 PM EST)
THIS ONE SELLS AS A MATCHED SET WITH THE EATHEN ALLEN CHAIR, AS A
BONUS THEY ALSO COME WITH CREEPY OLD MEN.
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Hand
(0 replies)
started by
MKacpro
(10.11.2000 11:05:56 AM EST)
Can I get a hand with this.
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Cough
(0 replies)
started by
MKacpro
(10.11.2000 11:04:21 AM EST)
I can turn my head, but I don't think I can cough that loud
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oct caption
(0 replies)
started by
rich7704
(10.11.2000 9:45:11 AM EST)
"now that im done sculpting it, i just have to figure out how to get it up my ass"
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The Hand
(0 replies)
started by
Firehawk69
(10.11.2000 8:50:02 AM EST)
Can anyone guess which finger is the stinkiest???
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The Hand
(0 replies)
started by
redsor
(10.11.2000 5:31:52 AM EST)
Get your hand off that !Redsor
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My submission
(0 replies)
started by
Arbitrator2000
(10.11.2000 3:45:07 AM EST)
"Now to choose a sculpture at random - ah, this will make a respectable book jacket photo."
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Holy Hell
(0 replies)
started by
Munky2001
(10.11.2000 2:10:23 AM EST)
Introducing the new age dildo for all you women who "Get Around".EN FUEGO!
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This is sad
(0 replies)
started by
abcdefgh
(10.11.2000 1:23:26 AM EST)
And if you're really good, Santa might bring you the rest of the arm next year.
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duhhh
(0 replies)
started by
hairyjew
(10.10.2000 11:56:08 PM EST)
im a fuckin loser next to a big hand
fuck you
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satisfied
(1 reply)
started by
andreadebattista
(10.10.2000 11:06:09 PM EST)
"It's about time I found something big enough to please my huge dick!!!" says the professor after having tested it out.
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satisfied
(0 replies)
started by
andreadebattista
(10.10.2000 11:02:14 PM EST)
"It's about time I found something big enough to please my huge dick!!!" says the professor after having tested it out.
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Nice Catch!
(0 replies)
started by
PartyMarty
(10.10.2000 10:26:04 PM EST)
You think this is big? You should have seen the one that got away!
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big finger little finger
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.10.2000 10:02:27 PM EST)
obviously the hand doesnt like him touching him because he is giving him......a nice clear signal
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pickle lover
(0 replies)
started by
DamienX
(10.10.2000 9:46:23 PM EST)
Now that my wife is tired of all those pickle jars up her ass, I wonder if that finger is gonna be big enough?
I sure am hungry : now where is that pickle I saved from last night... DamienX
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I Wanna Hold Yur Hand!
(0 replies)
started by
randj
(10.10.2000 9:46:04 PM EST)
A Eye for a Eye
A Tooth for a Tooth
But this HAND??????
Only hitchhikers allowed!!Wally
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I Wanna Hold Yur Hand!
(0 replies)
started by
randj
(10.10.2000 9:44:52 PM EST)
A Eye for a Eye
A Tooth for a Tooth
But this HAND??????
Only hitchhikers allowed!!Wally
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Jockin
(0 replies)
started by
allensf
(10.10.2000 9:43:05 PM EST)
And here we have the infamous hand of masturbation"Bitch, you stupid fly"
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Final Wishes
(0 replies)
started by
prattish
(10.10.2000 8:20:13 PM EST)
I hereby leave all my worldly wealth to Henry here, who has been a friend, confidant and lover to me these many years.
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I beg to differ!
(0 replies)
started by
prattish
(10.10.2000 8:16:14 PM EST)
Al Gore did not invent the hand as he claims... I did.
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Proof!
(0 replies)
started by
prattish
(10.10.2000 8:11:58 PM EST)
Alas my friends, proof that the tales of Jonathan Swift were not fiction is here. This is the focalized hand of Gulliver, and WE are the Lilliputians.
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Physical
(0 replies)
started by
dabiggdawg99
(10.10.2000 7:14:39 PM EST)
Now turn your head and cough.
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I dare you..........
(0 replies)
started by
totedude
(10.10.2000 2:13:41 PM EST)
Go ahead. None of you have the balls to pull my finger. Go ahead. I dare you.........
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Bad Commercial
(0 replies)
started by
irmechanic
(10.10.2000 2:07:20 PM EST)
Vincent Price in a very bad Allstate commercial "the good hands people?"
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ultimate fuck-off
(0 replies)
started by
psyche78
(10.10.2000 2:06:02 PM EST)
And this model is of course the ultimate way to say fuck you to your boss!
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i will win
(0 replies)
started by
tomp
(10.10.2000 12:52:46 PM EST)
ok mr smith, this might be a little uncomfotable at first.
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i will win
(0 replies)
started by
tomp
(10.10.2000 12:50:54 PM EST)
ok mr smith, this might be a little uncomfortable at first.
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Moving Day
(0 replies)
started by
eireman
(10.10.2000 12:28:45 PM EST)
This was not what the Johnson's had in mind when they asked Dave to lend them a hand this weekend.
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deep research
(0 replies)
started by
elmothethundergod
(10.10.2000 11:55:42 AM EST)
Doctor schnider was very proud to stand next to the statue that the hospital erected in honor of his ground breaking work in proctology
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deep research
(0 replies)
started by
elmothethundergod
(10.10.2000 11:53:33 AM EST)
Doctor schnider was very proud to stand next to the statue that the hospital erected in honor of his ground breaking work in proctology
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practice makes perfect
(0 replies)
started by
flash8111
(10.10.2000 5:56:19 AM EST)
...and after learning to DEEP THROAT
all 5 fingers, you will graduate to the next level
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an itch
(0 replies)
started by
flash8111
(10.10.2000 5:54:39 AM EST)
scrath my ass
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Profound!
(0 replies)
started by
flash8111
(10.10.2000 5:47:59 AM EST)
This is a big black hand
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Careful what you say
(0 replies)
started by
dangrad
(10.10.2000 4:40:34 AM EST)
Professor Zimmermann was careful not to mention "Jesus", "God", or "Messiah" in the presence of Allah.DANGRAD
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love is possible
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.10.2000 3:38:50 AM EST)
contrary to popular belief, Jack and the Giant lived happily for a long time, here they are on their 20th wedding anniversary
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"Charlie Don't Surf."
(0 replies)
started by
PimpDaddySchreibman
(10.10.2000 3:08:44 AM EST)
well, Clockwork Orange Art, dark colors, drugs and fucked up serious men so my caption contest entry goes. . "Charlie Don't Surf."
PDSpeekaboo you fucks you
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film at eleven......
(0 replies)
started by
billfreeman
(10.10.2000 2:54:03 AM EST)
Anxiously waiting on darkness to fall, Edgar polishes his glove for "Bitch Slappin' Night".
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lube
(0 replies)
started by
pendan
(10.10.2000 1:16:38 AM EST)
now where did i put that vaseline?
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Silly
(0 replies)
started by
lemonmerchant
(10.09.2000 10:59:49 PM EST)
Afer a long, fierce struggle with Shaquille O'neil, the Professor managed to sever his hand and return it to the museum for display.
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I love New Yourk
(1 reply)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.09.2000 9:22:28 PM EST)
Dr Gunther Gofuckov in front of the replacement hand for the Statue of Liberty in Honor of New Yours new State hand jesture.
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I Love New York
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.09.2000 9:19:07 PM EST)
Dr Gunter Gofuckov in front of the replacement hand for the Statue of Liberty in honor of New Yorks new state hand jesture law.
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'K
(0 replies)
started by
oliveoyl0902
(10.09.2000 8:56:16 PM EST)
When the laughter finally died down, professor Van Pelt replied, "Yeah, well, stick it up your ass then, OK?"
"Hey, if you think THIS is big, you should see the size of my wife's ASS!"
At wit's end, Bob finally found a sure fire way of deterring those pesky Johova Witnesses.
Immediately after George took the picture of the doctor standing next to his "suicide machine", the experiment went awry, and Kevorkian was squashed like a fly. With each sunset comes the promise of a new day and maybe a little action between the sheets.
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penis size
(0 replies)
started by
fenwick749
(10.09.2000 8:38:20 PM EST)
If measuring a creature's penis by the size of his hand I would say this speciman had to quite huge!how y'all are
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Pimp Hand
(0 replies)
started by
ShooterDC
(10.09.2000 8:32:21 PM EST)
The world's strongest pimp hand with the world's oldest pimp.
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ENGLAND DONE AGAIN!!
(0 replies)
started by
Hamish
(10.09.2000 8:26:25 PM EST)
After the Ł400 bid for "Don Hutchison's" Wembley stained GOAL scoring boot our next exhibit is "Maradona's Hand Of God"
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Ladies!
(0 replies)
started by
draznin
(10.09.2000 8:03:46 PM EST)
Alright, I know it's not much of a sculpture, but if one of you ladies would like a lift, the middle finger can be quite...um.. invigorating... or so I've heard."Sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here!"
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The Tour
(0 replies)
started by
draznin
(10.09.2000 7:53:37 PM EST)
And our next exhibit is the giant white penis, our most prized possession here at the Museum of the Absurd."Sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here!"
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big hand
(0 replies)
started by
Dapatricker
(10.09.2000 6:37:38 PM EST)
Billy,don't lick that hand you don't know where its been!
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King Kong
(0 replies)
started by
doogie007
(10.09.2000 5:01:25 PM EST)
At night Dr. Von Furstenbed likes to dress up as Faye Wray and get a hand job.
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HMMMMM.....
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.09.2000 4:34:16 PM EST)
I see you you will live a very long. long time .....
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How I Really Feel...
(0 replies)
started by
DaveMan
(10.09.2000 3:21:20 PM EST)
Instead of telling people how my day is going, I just show them my award for "The Best Attitude of the Day".
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why do i.....
(0 replies)
started by
3doorsdown
(10.09.2000 2:09:11 PM EST)
put up with this shit? first its the big hand statue. whats next giant dildo.not creative enough to fill this in
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1933 Obscure Movie Reference
(0 replies)
started by
Hazer
(10.09.2000 2:04:11 PM EST)
"I bought this at a Planet Hollywood going out of business sale for 10 bucks. Faye Wray sat right about here I think."
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hand Job
(0 replies)
started by
StevenIngrassia
(10.09.2000 12:45:53 PM EST)
Dr. Freud decide to help get his friend a hand job.
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Good Fun
(0 replies)
started by
gilli1536
(10.09.2000 12:07:37 PM EST)
And this is the hand that i enjoy using!Marc
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Quote
(0 replies)
started by
kevo1
(10.09.2000 11:30:49 AM EST)
"I've got jungle fever..."KeVo1
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Fuhrer
(0 replies)
started by
regberk
(10.09.2000 10:03:23 AM EST)
Heil Handler
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Who? What?
(0 replies)
started by
Scout
(10.09.2000 9:41:47 AM EST)
Who is this man? What is this hand?
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Ode......
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.09.2000 6:43:58 AM EST)
This one I call.....
"Ode to the man who sold me this crappy jacket!!"........
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BIG Hand
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.09.2000 6:09:27 AM EST)
How about a big hand for the KFC colonel
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Caption Contest . . .
(0 replies)
started by
bighock
(10.09.2000 5:57:35 AM EST)
Imagine the correctly scaled breasts this hand could grab!
Hmmmm . . .
That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
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A Gay Confession
(0 replies)
started by
firmassets
(10.09.2000 2:17:03 AM EST)
My perfect dream lover would have large hands, kinda' like this.
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sibling rivalry
(0 replies)
started by
spacemodulator
(10.09.2000 0:30:08 AM EST)
The hand from the Addam's Family, has an older brother named Leroy
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metareplicatornator
(0 replies)
started by
drdew
(10.08.2000 11:44:10 PM EST)
"Now, this newly built metarelicatornator will replicate whatever passes these laser beams. Now this machine only works once so as a nation we must decide on what to replicate." "Sorry what are you saying? My hand is what?!?! Good god no, I've replicated by damn hand, All of my work ruined! This is just one big slap in the face."drdewy
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Academy
(0 replies)
started by
Grizzly
(10.08.2000 11:29:15 PM EST)
Those fools at the Academy said "Why would you want to build a gigantic hand out of petrified wooly mammoth turds?" But who's laughing now, hmmm?? WHO'S LAUGHING NOW???
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Thumbelina
(0 replies)
started by
slurpie
(10.08.2000 11:19:56 PM EST)
My Thumbelina Fantasy
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Hardster
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.08.2000 11:18:44 PM EST)
You know what they say about people with big hands...
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Seven way
(0 replies)
started by
kingaugust
(10.08.2000 11:10:30 PM EST)
Allow me to introduce you to Rosy Pakm and her five friends. They'll be your date for this evening.I have no lid upon my head, but if I did you could look inside and see what's on my mind.
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Caption Contest
(0 replies)
started by
jackobots
(10.08.2000 9:21:18 PM EST)
I had to kill my wife; I asked her for a hand job , and this is what I got ! ! !what anice place to visit!
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Caption
(0 replies)
started by
Skikid
(10.08.2000 7:52:30 PM EST)
this ladies and gentlemen is hidh five of hell
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Big Black.....
(0 replies)
started by
dogma
(10.08.2000 7:14:57 PM EST)
....and this ladies and gentalmen is a scale replica of the famous, five headed Dick of Death!
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Caption
(0 replies)
started by
hellokitty1
(10.08.2000 6:56:16 PM EST)
This, ladies and gentlemen, is my favorite exhibit, it's entitled "Mary Palm and Her Five Sisters".I like pizza!!!
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LEROY
(0 replies)
started by
ferkdigga21
(10.08.2000 4:57:19 PM EST)
This is Jonathan White a Prof. from some little university in a hick vallet but his half brother Leroy is missing.... His brother is a starting line backer for the buffalo bills can you help prof white finds his enormous brother??
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Lube it up!
(0 replies)
started by
IPaintHamsters
(10.08.2000 2:30:08 PM EST)
After zipping up his pants, and putting away the lubricant, Tobias uttered aloud "I must NEVER let this device enter the wrong hands!""Wait, how did that go again?"
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Wishes
(0 replies)
started by
IPaintHamsters
(10.08.2000 2:27:00 PM EST)
And after gazing at the humungous monkey's paw, Edgar thought to himself "I better make some pretty f**kin' good wishes!""Wait, how did that go again?"
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Proctology 101
(0 replies)
started by
kerryi
(10.08.2000 1:01:03 PM EST)
"...and that class, ends your course on Proctology 101""Kermitz"
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Hot Air
(0 replies)
started by
weezil
(10.08.2000 12:01:45 PM EST)
"the box said;Inflatable Women"
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Hairy Palms
(0 replies)
started by
weezil
(10.08.2000 11:58:52 AM EST)
"Hey anybody got a razor out there?"
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HI FIVE
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.08.2000 9:21:44 AM EST)
TOM THUMB HI FIVE'S SHAQ AT THE FORUM.
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The Hand
(0 replies)
started by
SDBerndt
(10.08.2000 6:53:22 AM EST)
Hi,
I'm Micheal Cain and this is my HAND.
Welcome to the new gameshow "Let's Give 'em a Hand"
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caption
(0 replies)
started by
supaflyguy
(10.08.2000 3:24:43 AM EST)
You know what they say bout guys with big hands...
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caption
(0 replies)
started by
supaflyguy
(10.08.2000 3:23:49 AM EST)
They say switching hands is a whole new woman in this caseee...uhh..
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Two hands are better than one!
(0 replies)
started by
willi
(10.08.2000 0:25:50 AM EST)
Professor Oliver Wackinoffer poses with the prized exhibit of the Masturbatory Institute of America: King Kong's favorite hand. Although being ambidexterous, it seems that Kong's right hand lost favor to his left hand after losing its grip from a another huge tower, the Empire State Building.
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Ohhh!
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.07.2000 11:33:30 PM EST)
"Bet ya that gives a good hand job!"
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Big hand caption
(0 replies)
started by
sampson
(10.07.2000 9:40:47 PM EST)
Barry eases King Kongs pain as he breaks the news that he's not the only 150 foot gorilla in his life.
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Duh!!!!
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.07.2000 7:23:21 PM EST)
After prolonged computer use the patient will be begin to have weird
halucinations.
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Caption contest
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.07.2000 6:46:10 PM EST)
"Quite the hand-job!"
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Nursery rhyme
(0 replies)
started by
punanimuncher
(10.07.2000 6:37:14 PM EST)
This little piggy went to market.............Blood, guts, guns, cuts, knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts.
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Say hello.....
(0 replies)
started by
mizike
(10.07.2000 5:34:34 PM EST)
Say hello to my little....errrrr... my big friend.I think I'm gonna puke...
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giving the finger
(0 replies)
started by
coupe
(10.07.2000 5:10:01 PM EST)
I think they will like the gesture..
Fuck them! They didn't help us when we needed them.
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You Think
(0 replies)
started by
coupe
(10.07.2000 4:53:07 PM EST)
You think the Jolly Green Giant had a big hand. You got see his Green Peter....
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Thing
(0 replies)
started by
alfonz
(10.07.2000 4:05:48 PM EST)
Who the hell gave thing my steroidsIf Ya SMEEEELLLLLL what Alfonz iz smokin'
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Dr. Isaac
(0 replies)
started by
isaac209
(10.07.2000 3:53:26 PM EST)
As Dr Isaac explians, "see, the hair will grow around this region,"psych docs rule!
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pimpin
(0 replies)
started by
domherald
(10.07.2000 3:38:02 PM EST)
Because we all know that pimpin ain't easy, Ron Popeil introduces us to the Bitch Slapper 2000. Bitch Slapper, cause "Bitch better have MY money".
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interpretation
(0 replies)
started by
rottenj
(10.07.2000 3:32:36 PM EST)
When the keynote speaker at a recent conference of museum curators was announced with the phrase "Let's give a big hand to ..." it was taken quite literally by Dr. Edward Stolz, pictured above.
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ridin
(0 replies)
started by
domherald
(10.07.2000 3:30:43 PM EST)
and it can handle up to five, count-em five girls at one time.
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black hand
(2 replies)
started by
domherald
(10.07.2000 3:27:24 PM EST)
And just so you know, the BLACK HAND is bigger than all of us.
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Lost little shopper
(0 replies)
started by
maryland
(10.07.2000 2:13:22 PM EST)
"How strange, I usally always find my wife sitting up there"Maryland
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evil mastermind
(0 replies)
started by
maryland
(10.07.2000 2:10:59 PM EST)
"We have ways of making you talk, Mr. Bond."Maryland
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Give me five
(0 replies)
started by
jupegrl
(10.07.2000 2:06:28 PM EST)
The large bronze penis statue will go right here.
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As we begin
(0 replies)
started by
hardball
(10.07.2000 1:13:04 PM EST)
Folks as we begin the tour let me show you the hand I will use to put the smackdown on you if you touch any of the work's of art.
Shall we begin.Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.Don't ask what you country can do for you. Get off your lazy fat ass and get a fucking job.
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I can't
(0 replies)
started by
hardball
(10.07.2000 1:09:49 PM EST)
I can't beleave the gallery paid
for this stupid fucking hand.
Leberial arts,fucking morons.Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.Don't ask what you country can do for you. Get off your lazy fat ass and get a fucking job.
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Murcer aide
(0 replies)
started by
punanimuncher
(10.07.2000 1:01:29 PM EST)
This is the glove which they said didn't fit O.J.SimpsonBlood, guts, guns, cuts, knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts.
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All Right!!
(0 replies)
started by
puckmaster15
(10.07.2000 12:35:45 PM EST)
High Five! now lets go beat mr. rogers at some handball.
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The Hand
(0 replies)
started by
nastynigga33
(10.07.2000 11:34:06 AM EST)
Otis,
Bend over Otis,
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
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the hand
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.07.2000 11:27:18 AM EST)
shit, is this hand on roids or somethin?
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Caption contest!!!
(0 replies)
started by
Iamthewalrus
(10.07.2000 11:14:57 AM EST)
"Man, I asked for a hand job, but this is more than I expected!"If at first you don't succeed, keep sucking till you do suck seed.
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Not an Entry - Just Poetry
(0 replies)
started by
Marvin
(10.07.2000 8:05:41 AM EST)
Father Figure by George Michael
That's all I wanted
Something special, something sacred
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side
Sometimes I think that you'll never understand me
Maybe this time is forever - say it can be
That's all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred
In your life
Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side
Sometimes I think that you'll never understand me
But something tells me together - we'd be happy
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time
That's all I wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime
That's all I wanted
Just to see my baby's
Blue eyed shine
This time I think that my lover understands me
If we have faith in each other, then we can be...
Strong
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time
If you are the desert
I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That's what I'll be
So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful Darling
Don't think of me
Because all I ever wanted
It's in your eyes baby, baby
And love can't lie, no...
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)
My love is always tell me to...
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won't let you go, my baby
I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
Until the end of time
I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I will be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you until the end of time
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WARNING
(0 replies)
started by
donut38
(10.07.2000 3:54:06 AM EST)
PICKING YOUR NOSE WILL LEAVE STRETCH MARKS
you know you can pick your friends or you can pick your nose but you can`t pick your friends nose
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WARNING
(0 replies)
started by
donut38
(10.07.2000 3:53:11 AM EST)
PICKING YOUR NOSE WILL LEAVE STRETCH MARKS
you know you can pick your friends or you can pick your nose but you can`t pick your friends nose
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wow
(0 replies)
started by
derek
(10.07.2000 3:39:25 AM EST)
you know what they say about guys with big hands?
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WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!
(0 replies)
started by
KaptainAype
(10.07.2000 3:09:50 AM EST)
Finally a hand big enough to do cavity searches at gay prisons. -=KaP'N AyPe=-
You Filthy Ape Ass Bitch
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Prostate exam
(0 replies)
started by
MRHIGHSPEED
(10.07.2000 0:29:03 AM EST)
"Now if you'll step over here, Mister Smith, we'll conduct your Prostate check. Now you may feel a little pressure."
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momark69
(1 reply)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.06.2000 11:38:38 PM EST)
Hey King Kong don't touch me!
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Size
(0 replies)
started by
15thgreen
(10.06.2000 10:47:40 PM EST)
His is bigger than mine!
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mmmmmmmmmm.........
(0 replies)
started by
alloy16
(10.06.2000 10:45:24 PM EST)
The World Smartest hand... and biggest and the guy next to it is the owner of the hands. The hand name is IT like on the tv show the adamm's family. it his left hand so he is left handed. WHZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUPPPPPP! BYE LOVE YLL.
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just read the message!
(1 reply)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.06.2000 9:42:10 PM EST)
Here, at the final of the world arm-wrestling championship, we see Ken toying with the challanger!
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whatever
(0 replies)
started by
pleasantCM
(10.06.2000 7:31:13 PM EST)
fuck your shirt, fuck your picture, fuck your site, fuck your sites visitors, fuck your mom, fuck your dad, fuck your brothers/sisters(if applicable), fuck your wife(""), fuck your kids(""), fuck your dog/cat, fuck your house, fuck your lawn, fuck your car, fuck your neighbors, fuck your mailman, and FUCK YOU!FUCK THIS JOB, FUCK THIS PLACE, FUCK THESE PEOPLE, FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!!!!
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kentucky fried hand
(0 replies)
started by
skywinker
(10.06.2000 6:29:47 PM EST)
Try our new kentucky fried hands,made from fresh large hands,coated in our special coating of ten herbs and spices,deep fried for a crispy bite.
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World's Biggest Turd
(0 replies)
started by
eddyo19
(10.06.2000 4:25:59 PM EST)
Dr. Incontinetius Buttocks has just won the Guinness Record for the largest fecal deposit. His world record turd weighs in at an astounding 748 Kg and towers at a height of 11 ft. 7 in.
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Next exhibit
(0 replies)
started by
mockprincess
(10.06.2000 2:03:41 PM EST)
Hurry up and take my picture, Tom;
the giant elbow exhibit closes in five minutes.sarcastic in California
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MY ASS
(0 replies)
started by
PAnterarules
(10.06.2000 12:17:33 PM EST)
I finaly found out why my ass hurts when i wake up in the morning.
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Musical Sex
(0 replies)
started by
Murney7
(10.06.2000 12:01:41 PM EST)
I said iwanted a big PENIS not a big pianist
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I had
(0 replies)
started by
hardball
(10.06.2000 11:38:00 AM EST)
I've had a hand in creating just about everthing.
Al Gore.Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.
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folks
(0 replies)
started by
hardball
(10.06.2000 11:37:16 AM EST)
Folks I ask you ,Can you imagin the
size of joint this guy could roll.Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.
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The hand
(0 replies)
started by
hardball
(10.06.2000 11:33:23 AM EST)
This is the hand alore used in carving the panama canal, and if you'll follow me I can show the next bigger hand Al used in creating the Grand Canyon.Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.
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Handjob 2000
(0 replies)
started by
miguksaram
(10.06.2000 10:46:17 AM EST)
For the man who is too lazy to do it himself. You can order it in four different sizes small, medium, large, and black (as displayed by founder and inventor Dr. Fist O'fury)It is not the destination but the journey that enlightens us.
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good job
(0 replies)
started by
mikelazusky
(10.06.2000 9:23:39 AM EST)
the white guy maybe not that tall, but he sure can jump. look how high he gets for high fives.
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does it matter??
(0 replies)
started by
methos316
(10.06.2000 5:35:33 AM EST)
Finally conclusive proof that black guys are bigger!!Shit happens. Get over it.
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Nobby Stiles
(0 replies)
started by
slippinslider
(10.06.2000 4:58:40 AM EST)
I've never had a problem since I bought this rectal reamer
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the hand
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.06.2000 2:53:25 AM EST)
you know what they say about guys with big hands right!!!!
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FOR THE PIMPS
(0 replies)
started by
rhinochsr
(10.06.2000 0:53:43 AM EST)
For the Pimp Daddy that can't smack all his Ho's....The Bitch Slap 5000damnn I'm tired.....Stupid third shift!
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THE ULTIMATE TOY
(0 replies)
started by
TRABBY
(10.05.2000 11:37:00 PM EST)
HERE WE SEE DR.COCKMYER AS HE PREPARES TO LAUNCH HIS NEW ORGIE DILDO,JUST DON'T TRY TO TAKE THIS ONE IN THE ASS.
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Remember
(0 replies)
started by
dnartreb
(10.05.2000 11:25:05 PM EST)
Remember, if the women don't find you smart, they should at least find you handy.
(Red Green)And that's about all I have to say about that.
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It's payback bitch!
(0 replies)
started by
Weasel5000
(10.05.2000 10:06:08 PM EST)
"Back in 43, I stumbled upon the Jerkoffalot tribe. This is the hand of their leader, King Kum, who took my left glove for unknown reasons. Five years later I hunted the bastard down and I took his bloody hand!"
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I say.........
(0 replies)
started by
latertater
(10.05.2000 8:12:47 PM EST)
Our next exhibit is known as "A Big Fucking Hand". We do not know why the artist made this big fucking hand but we do know why we left it right here. Because we couldn't move it any fucking further and our dumpster was too fucking small. latertater
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Size??
(0 replies)
started by
bd2son
(10.05.2000 6:49:15 PM EST)
Size is not everything - this petrified specimen cannot wrap my weenie.
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Hand Job
(0 replies)
started by
TheUnforgivenTX
(10.05.2000 5:45:58 PM EST)
And yes, ladies... the bigger the hand the bigger the....
-----------
Damn, you're cheaper than a 4-bit whore on nickel bear night!
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Hand Job
(0 replies)
started by
TheUnforgivenTX
(10.05.2000 5:44:59 PM EST)
And just imagine the size of the pearls left on this motherfucker...-----------
Damn, you're cheaper than a 4-bit whore on nickel bear night!
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all for $19.95
(0 replies)
started by
jayj162
(10.05.2000 4:40:34 PM EST)
thats right all the options, makes you feel secure when your alone its a massager a heater and a great sex toy all your for only $19.95 thats right $19.95
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caption contest
(0 replies)
started by
ericdevine
(10.05.2000 4:39:49 PM EST)
"...and ,next on our tour, this magnificent piece here is... well, it's a big hand."
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CAPTION CONTEST!
(0 replies)
started by
uglypeoplesuck
(10.05.2000 4:12:06 PM EST)
"This is the best sex toy in the world, it has many features, my favorite is just to lubricate a finger, sit down, and OOOHHHH...that's nice."
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Caption
(0 replies)
started by
wtocel
(10.05.2000 4:09:34 PM EST)
No, our arm wrestlers aren't on steroids, why do you ask?
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WOW!
(0 replies)
started by
STUPIDDOGG
(10.05.2000 3:50:53 PM EST)
Gentlemen....never date a woman with a hand as big as this...
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ouch!!
(0 replies)
started by
leefan32
(10.05.2000 3:43:06 PM EST)
now where did you say you were going to stick that middle finger king kong?
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my turn
(0 replies)
started by
quinnlander
(10.05.2000 3:28:06 PM EST)
So there I was, on safari, when i came across the biggest damn amzon i'd ever seen!
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well,
(0 replies)
started by
doublej1984
(10.05.2000 3:15:27 PM EST)
thats the biggest hand job I've ever seen.
|
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Caption
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.05.2000 2:55:27 PM EST)
Pull my finger.
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big 'un
(0 replies)
started by
wtbarron
(10.05.2000 1:24:02 PM EST)
the doctor explains that rubbing "mister big" cream on your penis also causes your hand to get bigger
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Order up!
(0 replies)
started by
sconaway16
(10.05.2000 1:19:39 PM EST)
Ok, who ordered the supreme handjob?Eat a load of poop.
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Hands Off!
(0 replies)
started by
VVildman
(10.05.2000 12:59:49 PM EST)
Professor Velvet shows he is willing to lend a hand.Wildm@n
(o V o)
) (
( . )
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Now to find the rest..
(0 replies)
started by
Chet4207
(10.05.2000 12:32:13 PM EST)
Dejected, but not defeated, Mr. Gay San Francisco 1950 continues to seek lifesize pieces of his former lover Bruce.Chet4207
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Proof
(0 replies)
started by
murney7
(10.05.2000 12:24:39 PM EST)
You momma so fat........
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At last
(0 replies)
started by
murney7
(10.05.2000 12:23:17 PM EST)
After trading places with Gulliver, Darth Vader eventually got Obi-Wan
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Jack
(0 replies)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(10.05.2000 10:19:15 AM EST)
Jack thought that a nice rest was in order after that large bean stalk climb. However ......
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how?
(0 replies)
started by
bhthomas
(10.05.2000 10:17:37 AM EST)
With my 12 step program and a small investment, you too can have hands like THIS!!!
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Guess ?
(0 replies)
started by
thelizard
(10.05.2000 10:07:49 AM EST)
Guess what her other hand is holding ?
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Houston's dream
(0 replies)
started by
nubarnes
(10.05.2000 9:53:55 AM EST)
And over here ladies and gentlemen, we have an artist’s rendition of a dream that was described to him by the pornstar Houston.
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wow
(0 replies)
started by
slurpt444
(10.05.2000 9:52:07 AM EST)
"If it were socially acceptable, I would drape myself in velvet."
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Fairy tales.
(0 replies)
started by
methos316
(10.05.2000 6:03:01 AM EST)
Tom Thumb comes out of hiding to promote inter-racial realtions.Shit happens. Get over it.
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Aggie Joke
(0 replies)
started by
Ivan8tor
(10.05.2000 4:01:14 AM EST)
This is what happened to the Aggie's hand who used the penis enlargement kit incorrectly.
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Now class..
(0 replies)
started by
Namdren
(10.05.2000 3:14:38 AM EST)
THIS is the result of too many hours spent.. exploring yourself.- Namdren
|
Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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While working on an Australian ranch, Errol Flynn once castrated a sheep with his teeth.
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Magnus
~SweetiePeach~
