Two guys are sitting in a quiet, rundown bar. In walks another
man, dressed very sharply in a dark suit and carrying a
briefcase. The two men are surprised to see such a man in their
local bar.
"Looks like a lawyer to me" says the first man.
"No, I'd say an accountant" his friend replies.
After some squabbling, the first man decides to go over to the
sharply dressed stranger to settle the debate.
"Excuse me" says he, "But my friend and I were having an
argument over there and were wondering if you could help. Tell
me: are you a lawyer or an accountant?"
"Why, I'm neither a lawyer nor an accountant" he replies. "I'm
actualy a reasonable scientist."
"What in hell is a reasonable scientist?" cries the man.
"Well, allow me to give you a demonstration. Do you have any
goldfish?" The man nods. "Well then, if you have goldfish it
must surely be reasonable to assume that you either keep them in
a tank or in a pond."
"Why yes" he replies. "I do keep them in a pond."
"Right" says the reasonable scientist. "Then if you have a pond
it must also be reasonable to assume that you have a large
house." Again, the man nods. "And if you have a large house it
must be reasonable to assume that you have a wife and children."
"Yes," says the man in wonder, "I do."
"Right. And if you have a wife and kids you must have an
adequate sex life."
"Of course. Three or four times a week"
"And if youre being serviced that often it is reasonable to
assume that you don't masturbate on a regular basis."
"No. Hardly ever."
"Exactly. So you see, by just telling me that you had a goldfish
I was able to deduce that you have a large house, a family and
that you dont jerk off very often. And that, my friend, is the
job of a reasonable scientist."
Thanking him, the man returns to his friend.
"Well," says his friend, "was he a lawyer or an accountant?"
"Neither, he was a reasonable scientist."
"What in hell is a reasonable scientist?"
"Well, its difficult to explain. Allow me to demonstrate. Do you
have a goldfish?"
"No," his friend replies.
"Well then: you're a wanker."
