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George W. Bush
 
"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Signs 911 Commission Bill," Nov. 27, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"He wants Texas back."
— Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, asked what terms Mexican - born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations. (1981)
 
 

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#155 In 1926, the first outdoor mini-golf courses were built on rooftops in NYC.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
 
 

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Q: Did you hear Bill Clinton got a new job in Washington, DC?
A: Hillary hired him to open her mail!
 
 


Crocodile Dundee in the Gay Bar

By: puppyPublished: 04/18/2000
 
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One day Crocodile Dundee walks into a gay bar with his pet crocodile. He sits down at the bar, orders a beer, and all the gays begin to stare. Crocodile Dundee notices, and says, "What are you guys lookin' at? I betcha I'm the toughest man here!"

A wave of disagreement passes through the crowd, and Dundee replies, "Alright, I'll prove it. Let's see anyone here do this!" He orders 3 canned beers from the bartender, opens each, and proceeds to drink all three at the same time within a matter of seconds. Undeterred, the gays each perform the task as well. Dundee says, "Alright, then let's see you do this!" He throws up all three cans in the air, pulls out his gun, and each can recieves a bullet hole in it before it hits the ground. The patrons each repeat the deed with no hesitation. Crocodile Dundee then says, "Guess I'm gonna have to pull out all the stops. Let's see someone do this!!" He sets his crocodile on the bar, whips out his penis, inserts it in the croc's mouth, closes the croc's mouth around his penis, and then hits the crocodile on the nose.

A wave of "oohs" and "ahhs" come from the audience as each man grimaces in pain. "Let's see someone do that!" Crocodile Dundee exclaims. A hushed silence falls over the crowd as resignation sets in. Finally, a rather small, frail man in the back raises his hand and says, "Mister, I can do that, as long as you don't hit me on the nose."

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UGH!! (0 replies)
started by FRANKBSEAL
(04.20.2001 10:45:27 AM EST)

DOUBLE UGH-UGH

ello ne fit birds out there? (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(03.09.2001 11:32:21 PM EST)

im horny as f**k!! need sum chicks 2 elp me out-- aaaveeeettttttttttttttttt

kelly (1 reply)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.20.2001 8:11:05 PM EST)

Ha Kelly, hope you like this one you big twat! So you plan Erin today, Must been complainig all day!! Let me know if you get this. love me

ass hool (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.05.2001 8:51:04 AM EST)

you mother fucker

get better jokes (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(12.20.2000 5:23:52 PM EST)

you got some good jokes but not enough get better ones

who cares (0 replies)
started by eightball15401
(12.03.2000 8:44:04 PM EST)

who cares what you idiots think about goofball your name is.......... "cockboy"

fuckwit (2 replies)
started by sesquilious
(07.26.2000 11:02:37 PM EST)

Just to be politically correct, corocodile dundee did not have a gun
nice try loser

My name is...... (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.12.2000 6:37:31 AM EST)

Hoi there, I'm Levvy Jackstick and I don't give a flying fuck if this joke's funny or not, or if anyone takes the piss.

I'm just fucking bored with Goofball taking 10 years to laod up every audio thing.

scorp3 reply's (0 replies)
started by scorp3
(06.02.2000 10:20:03 AM EST)

It may very well be one of the oldies but you probably thought it was pretty funny the first time you heard it.

scorp3

Shite (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(05.31.2000 5:43:45 AM EST)

This is the worst, oldest, most pathetic, sorry joke that has ever been posted on this site.

First!!! (2 replies)  
started by aussie
(05.25.2000 3:07:14 AM EST)

Hello people, if there is any shitty jokes about aussies put in here then prepare to die

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