A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.
"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly," says the bartender, "Sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck.
So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves.
This continues for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the bartender says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus - he talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous" says the ringleader, "Get him to give me a call."
So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey Mr. Duck. I reckon I can line you up with a top job paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus" says the bartender.
"The circus?" the duck enquires.
"That's right," replies the bartender.
"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck.
"That's right!" says the bartender.
The duck looks confused and asks, "What the f*ck do they want with a plasterer?"
Love the country, live to pee outside!
