A guy was invited to a stag night, but his wife didn't want him to go. "Last
time you went to a stag night you got totally blind and spewed all over
yourself, ruining a new suit," she said.
"I promise that I'll behave myself," he said, and begged and begged until
finally she gave in.
So he went along to the party and ordered a lemon squash to do the right
thing. Next, he had a couple of light beers, still trying to make sure that
he did't overdo it. After that, he started drinking heavies; by 10:30PM,
he was starting to get really sloshed.
"My wife will kill me if I end up blind drunk. Last time, I ruined a new suit by vomitting all over myself," he told a friend.
"No worries," sayid his buddy. "What you do is put $20 in the back of your
wallet and, if you end up throwing up on your suit, you give the wife the $20
when you get home and tell her that someone else vomited all over you and
gave you $20 for the dry cleaning."
So the guy thought that was a great idea and started really getting into the
booze.
By 2:00AM, he was faced. He had barfed all over himself as his wife had
predicted he would.
He headed home and his wife greeted him at the door. "Right, that's it! I've
had enough of you, I'm leaving," his wife said.
"No, no you've got it all wrong!" said the drunk guy, "I didn't do this!
Someone else was so drunk that he threw up all over me, but he gave me $20 to
pay for the dry cleaning," he said as he handed over the money to his wife.
"If he gave you $20, how come you're giving me $40?" asked the wife.
"The other $20 is from the guy who shit in my pants," he replied.
Love the country, live to pee outside!
