Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"It's going to be very important for the Iraqi authorities to reach out to those people and talk about a system that guarantees minority rights, and a system which says that for some the future is bright." —Bush, speaking in Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"The attempt to tear down our president's leadership with the knowledge of the issues has not failed."
— George Bush
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#177 The first sailing boats were built in Egypt.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
house is is so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What do you call a Taliban who owns both a camel and a goat?
A: Bisexual!
 
 


Can you help?

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 09/10/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning.

"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over.

Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"

"No, get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says

"Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"

"But the guy was drunk." says the husband.

"It doesn't matter." says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."

So the husband out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts: "Hey, do you still want a push??" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your porch swing."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Free tips on how to attract, arouse any women, kiss test, and more


More Bar Jokes...

 

Search
 


Advanced Search
 
This Section

ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
stupid (0 replies)
started by teatzer
(06.09.2001 10:22:04 PM EST)

you are stupid

of all the time i have lived on this planet i have learned two things, mimes will make noises if punched in the stomach and i have lost my mind completly.

weee (0 replies)  
started by Heaad22
(06.27.2000 12:31:06 PM EST)

im first

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


Most Recent
Irish Lent
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry ...
06.10.2008

New Drink
A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, ...
03.21.2008

Guy Luke's Night Out
After a hard day logging in the northern wilderness, ...
01.27.2008

Working Nights
Murphy came home plastered for the third night in a row. His wife dragged him to the window, pointing to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance.
12.18.2007

Rate This!

3.09 Goofballs of 5
264 Viewer(s) rated

Rating the content is for registered users only.

Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Free Drinks
    Larry and Steve wanted to go out drinking; they only had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea."
    11.08.2006

    Two Years Ago
    Getting Drunk
    Two buddies, Bob and Larry are getting very drunk ...
    05.13.2006

    You Guys Got Lucky
    Three pals are in a bar somewhere in Manhattan having ...
    04.23.2006

    The Taxidermist
    This guy walks into a bar down in Texas and orders ...
    12.07.2005

    Pub Hopping
    Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money. Between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro ...
    11.19.2005

    Lookie Here!
    Always postpone meetings with time wasting morons

    Goofball Facts
     
    When angered, the ears of Tazmanian devils turn a pinkish-red.