A guy calls his old, recently married drinking buddy and asks
him to get a beer after work. The newlywed protested at first,
then agreed to have one beer. Several hours later, both guys
are drunk, and the newlywed pukes all over himself and his
shirt. He immediately begins to worry that his wife is going
to kill him and never let him out of the house again.
His buddy tells him, "Don't worry. Here's $40. Take a cab home
with one $20, and tell your wife the some drunk guy gave you
the other $20 after he puked on you, to pay for your dry-
cleaning".
The newlywed decides its a good idea, and leaves the bar.
The newlywed decides to that he's
okay to drive, closes one
eye, and weaves his way home. His wife is angrily waiting at
the door, sees his shirt and goes ballistic.
The guy gives his well rehearsed line, "Some guy puked on me and gave me 20
bucks for my dry-cleaning. Check for yourself in my front pocket."
The wife reaches into his front pocket and pulls out the $40.
She asks, "Then what is this other $20 for?"
The guy replies, "He shit in my pants, too".