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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
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George W. Bush |
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"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq." —Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004
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Random Quote |
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I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand... I'm amphibious.
— Charles Shackleford, NC State Basketball Player.
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Snapple Facts |
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#149 Theodore Roosevelt was the only president blind in one eye.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.
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One Liners |
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Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: By psychologically breaking down her confidence with a rigorous behavior modification schedule, alternating between sensory deprivation and sensory overload, thereby breaking down her conception of self, leaving her unable to resist outside suggestion.
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 Some Consolation | | By: roger | Published: 01/31/2003 | | |  |
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This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink.
He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.
The poor little guy starts crying.
"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver.
"I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered I had forgotten my wallet in it. At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener.
"So I came to this bar and was thinking about putting an end to my life, and you show up and drink the damn poison." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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More Bar Jokes...
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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A turkey can run 20 miles per hour.
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