B.A.R.S.
By: michaelcarl	Published: 06/17/2003
The World Health Organisation (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout the world. The disease, identified as BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) affects people of many different ages. Believed to have started in Ireland around 1500 BC, the disease is said to affect people who gather in Pubs and Taverns or who plainly congregate for different reasons. It is not known how the disease is transmitted but approximately three billion people world-wide are affected, with thousands of new cases appearing every day. Early symptoms of the disease include an uncontrollable urge at 6:00pm to consume a beer or alcoholic beverage. This urge is mostly felt on Fridays. More advanced symptoms of the disease include talking loudly, singing off-key, aggression, heightened sexual attraction/confidence, uncalled for laughter, uncontrollable dancing and unprovoked and/or relentless arguing. In the final stages of the disease, victims are often cross-eyed, and speak incoherently. Vomiting, loss of memory, loss of balance, loss of clothing and loss of virginity can also occur. Sometimes death ensue usually accompanied by the victim shouting, "Hey Fred, bet you can't this!" or "Wanna see how fast it goes??" If you develop any of these symptoms, it is important that you quarantine yourself in a pub with fellow victims until last call or the symptoms have passed. Sadly, it is reported that the disease can reappear at very short notice or at the latest, on the following Friday. Side effects for survivors include bruising, broken limbs, lost property, killer headaches and divorce. On the up side, there is not and probably never will be, a permanent cure. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Just Shoot me... (0 replies) started by michaelcarl (06.17.2003 5:01:09 PM EST) You’ve been so good to the family but you’re sick now so we’re gonna blow your damn brains out! Poor Old Yeller.

Hey MC (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (06.17.2003 7:44:31 AM EST) you could turn this in as a report and get a government check for doing a study. LMAO @ the Old Yeller line

Sod it! (0 replies) started by marvin (06.17.2003 3:56:45 AM EST) I'm not waiting until Friday evening!

Hell (0 replies) started by tjshere (06.17.2003 0:54:40 AM EST) Ole Yeller died 15 chapters ago. Waaaaaaa hahahahahaha! Just having some fun here, MC. It was a good joke, I'll leave ya a fistful of goofballs.

All I wanna know is..... (4 replies)   started by roger (06.17.2003 0:27:30 AM EST) did they kill Ole' Yeller? waaaaaaaa hahahahahaha Comment contributed with 5 goofballs attached... LMAO

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