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	George W. Bush
	"Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open." -George W. Bush, at the swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman, March 2, 2001

	Random Quote
	"The only time I want to talk to a woman when I'm naked is if I'm on top of her or she's on top of me." — Former Tigers pitcher Jack Morris on female sportswriters

	Snapple Facts
	#16 The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

	Yo Mama ...
	... is so fat, She uses the swimming pool as a toilet!

	One Liners
	Q. Where does virgin wool come from? A. Ugly sheep.

Most Recent
	Psychiatrists Vs. Bartenders Ever since I was a child I've always had a fear of ... 05.01.2009 In Need of a Push A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ... 01.28.2009 Beer And Walking A recent study found the average American walks about ... 08.08.2008 More Or Less? A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ... 08.06.2008

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One Year Ago
	Beer And Walking A recent study found the average American walks about ... 08.08.2008 More Or Less? A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ... 08.06.2008 Irish Lent An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry ... 06.10.2008

Two Years Ago
	Impossible To Say While Drunk Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk. 10.20.2007 Eighteen Double Vodkas A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman ... 08.23.2007 Stealing From A Drunk A young man is staggering about drunk with a key in ... 07.18.2007

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	Casino Joke
	I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!

	Goofball Facts
	Americans will eat at least 90 acres of pizza today!