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George W. Bush
 
"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq." —Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004
 
 

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— Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
 
 

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A: By psychologically breaking down her confidence with a rigorous behavior modification schedule, alternating between sensory deprivation and sensory overload, thereby breaking down her conception of self, leaving her unable to resist outside suggestion.
 
 


Only Catholics Go To Heaven

By: UnknownPublished: 03/01/1999
 
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A man dies and goes to heaven. St.Peter gives him a tour around the place. They proceed down a long hallway and come to a door. The man hears much laughter and clinking of glasses and pouring of wine. He asks St.Peter what is behind the door.

St.Peter answers, "Oh, that's just the Presbyterians."

They come to another door and the man hears singing, praises, and loud gospel music. "Oh, that's just the Baptists," he assures the man.

They proceed down the hall, and another door appears. However, when they reach this door, St.Peter warns the man to be very, very quiet.

"Why?" the man asks.

"Because," St. Peter replies, "that's the Catholics, and they think they're the only ones up here!"

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