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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
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George W. Bush |
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"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq." —Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004
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Random Quote |
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"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
— Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
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Snapple Facts |
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#149 Theodore Roosevelt was the only president blind in one eye.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
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One Liners |
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Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: By psychologically breaking down her confidence with a rigorous behavior modification schedule, alternating between sensory deprivation and sensory overload, thereby breaking down her conception of self, leaving her unable to resist outside suggestion.
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 Only Catholics Go To Heaven | | By: Unknown | Published: 03/01/1999 | | |  |
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A man dies and goes to heaven. St.Peter gives him a tour
around the place. They proceed down a long hallway and come to
a door. The man hears much laughter and clinking of glasses
and
pouring of wine. He asks St.Peter what is behind the
door.
St.Peter answers, "Oh, that's just the Presbyterians."
They come to another door and the man hears singing, praises,
and loud gospel music. "Oh, that's just the Baptists," he
assures the man.
They proceed down the hall, and another door appears. However,
when they reach this door, St.Peter warns
the man to be very, very quiet.
"Why?" the man asks.
"Because," St. Peter replies, "that's the Catholics, and they
think they're
the only ones up here!"
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Ya, Right!!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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You burn 20 calories per hour chewing gum.
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