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	George W. Bush
	"I don't speak ill of anybody in the process here. I think if you went back and looked at my comments, you will see I don't attack." —Bush, in the same interview. (The Washington Post reported on Feb. 20 that the Bush re-election campaign will spend "tens of millions of dollars" on a negative ad campaign focusing on the likely Democratic nominee, Sen. John Kerry.)

	Random Quote
	"The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice." — Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC

	Snapple Facts
	#144 Texas is the only state that permits residents to cast absentee ballots from space.

	Yo Mama ...
	is like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!

	One Liners
	Q: Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco? A: Lexington, Kentucky . .He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.

Most Recent
	Psychiatrists Vs. Bartenders Ever since I was a child I've always had a fear of ... 05.01.2009 In Need of a Push A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ... 01.28.2009 Beer And Walking A recent study found the average American walks about ... 08.08.2008 More Or Less? A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ... 08.06.2008

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	Beer And Walking A recent study found the average American walks about ... 08.08.2008 More Or Less? A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ... 08.06.2008 Irish Lent An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry ... 06.10.2008 New Drink A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, ... 03.21.2008

Two Years Ago
	Impossible To Say While Drunk Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk. 10.20.2007 Eighteen Double Vodkas A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman ... 08.23.2007 Stealing From A Drunk A young man is staggering about drunk with a key in ... 07.18.2007 Free Drinks Larry and Steve wanted to go out drinking; they only had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea." 11.08.2006

Lookie Here!
	Our Dumb Century

	Casino Joke
	I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!

	Goofball Facts
	Armadillos can walk underwater.