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	George W. Bush
	"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybodyelse is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."-The San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000

	Random Quote
	"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it." — Anonymous

	Snapple Facts
	#108 Licking a stamp burns 10 calories.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so ugly she made an onion cry.

	One Liners
	Q. How can you tell a Polish pirate? A. He has a patch over both eyes.

	Quick Joke
	Don't you feel like sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online

Most Recent
	Psychiatrists Vs. Bartenders Ever since I was a child I've always had a fear of ... 05.01.2009 In Need of a Push A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ... 01.28.2009 Beer And Walking A recent study found the average American walks about ... 08.08.2008 More Or Less? A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ... 08.06.2008

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One Year Ago
	In Need of a Push A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ... 01.28.2009 Beer And Walking A recent study found the average American walks about ... 08.08.2008 More Or Less? A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ... 08.06.2008 Irish Lent An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry ... 06.10.2008

Two Years Ago
	Guy Luke's Night Out After a hard day logging in the northern wilderness, ... 01.27.2008 Working Nights Murphy came home plastered for the third night in a row. His wife dragged him to the window, pointing to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance. 12.18.2007 Impossible To Say While Drunk Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk. 10.20.2007 Eighteen Double Vodkas A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman ... 08.23.2007

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	Casino Joke
	I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!

	Goofball Facts
	Some lions mate over 50 times a day.