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George W. Bush
 
"Some one of my visits—one of the reasons I'm visiting here is to ask the question, you know, to people, because if there's moving too slow or people are saying one thing and the other thing is not happening, now's the time to find out."—Bush, talking about hurricane relief Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Tornado Damage," May 13, 2003
 
 

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#219 An electric eel can release a charge powerful enough to start 50 cars.
 
 

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Leper in Bar

By: JskillsPublished: 12/03/1998
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

So anyway, this leper goes into a bar.

And this guy is in a really advanced state of decay, you know, like the werewolf's friend in American Werewolf in London, towards the end of the movie...

Anyhow, he goes into this bar, sits down at the bar and says to the bartender,
"Look, before I order, I'd like you to know that I'm aware of how my appearance affects some people, and I'll fully understand it if you refuse to serve me."

The bartender, who is looking a little pasty-faced, says,
"No, sir, I am a professional, and you are my customer. It is my pleasure to serve you. What would you like?"

"A shot of whiskey, if it's not too much trouble."

"Coming right up, sir."
The bartender pours the drink, then goes to the area behind the bar, ostensibly to wash some glasses, but the leper can hear him puking his guts out.

When the bartender returns a moment later, wiping the corner of his mouth with a rag, the leper says,
"Look, I told you I would understand. You didn't have to go through that for my sake!"

To which the bartender replied,
"I know that, sir, and I would like to assure you that I would have had no trouble, but for the last 5 minutes or so, the drunk next to you has been dipping his crackers in your neck."

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    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    dissappointment? (0 replies)
    started by agentgrape
    (11.27.2000 2:03:45 PM EST)

    it was going pretty good until the shitty punchline.

    Only for those who are hungry! (0 replies)  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (10.15.2000 4:42:33 PM EST)

    You'll eat this one right up!!!

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