Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."-Speaking during "PERSEVERENCE Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
— Ernest Hemingway
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#107 You burn more calories sleeping then watching TV.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. Did ya hear about Darth Vader's sister, Ellie?
A. Hundreds of men go down on her every day.
 
 


Free Drinks

By: seaweedyPublished: 11/08/2006
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Larry and Steve wanted to go out drinking; they only had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea."

He went next door to the butcher's shop and spent the $2.00 on one large sausage.

Steve said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!"

Larry replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."

They went into the pub where Larry immediately ordered two double shots of Jack Daniels. Steve said, "Now you've lost it! Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money to pay for this!"

Larry replied, with a smile, "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!" They downed their drinks. Larry said "OK! I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you get on your knees and put it in your mouth."

Said and done, the bar man noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out, forgetting about charging them for the drinks.

They continued this, bar after bar, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth bar, Steve said, "Larry - I don't think I can do this anymore. My mouth is sore and my knees are killing me!"

Larry said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage at the third bar.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Free Drinks
  • Free Antivirus Software
  • Box Of Free Kittens
  • Free Gas
  • Free mounting
  • Free Ipod For Every Goofballer!
  • Free Sex With Fill Up
  • Free Porn At Church
  • Hooters Offers Free Beer
  • Free Image Hosting; TinyPIC.com
  • Free Personalized Christmas Song
  • Free Airtime
  • Curve Ball Free Kick
  • Free Peanuts
  • Drinks And Sex
  • Free Entry
  • National Eye Care Month - Free Eye Test
  • Free Fall
  • Free Diet Advice
  • Free Mounting

  • More Bar Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Pub Hopping (0 replies)  
    started by tjshere
    (11.08.2006 4:28:08 AM EST)


    Poor Steve

    This plan really left a bad taste in his mouth.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Psychiatrists Vs. Bartenders
    Ever since I was a child I've always had a fear of ...
    05.01.2009

    In Need of a Push
    A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ...
    01.28.2009

    Beer And Walking
    A recent study found the average American walks about ...
    08.08.2008

    More Or Less?
    A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ...
    08.06.2008

    Rate This!

    4.17 Goofballs of 5
    12 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Beer And Walking
    A recent study found the average American walks about ...
    08.08.2008

    More Or Less?
    A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ...
    08.06.2008

    Irish Lent
    An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry ...
    06.10.2008

    New Drink
    A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, ...
    03.21.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Impossible To Say While Drunk
    Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk.
    10.20.2007

    Eighteen Double Vodkas
    A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman ...
    08.23.2007

    Stealing From A Drunk
    A young man is staggering about drunk with a key in ...
    07.18.2007

    Lookie Here!
    Always postpone meetings with time wasting morons

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.