Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."-Speaking during "PERSEVERENCE Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
— Ernest Hemingway
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#107 You burn more calories sleeping then watching TV.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
A. It's called, Sosumi.
 
 


National Condom Week

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 12/01/1998
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

The following is a list of possible slogans promoting National Condom Week.

  1. Cover your stump before you hump.

  2. Before you attack her, wrap your wacker.

  3. Don't be silly ... protect your willy.

  4. Before you blast her, guard your bushmaster.

  5. Don't be a loner ... cover your boner.

  6. When in doubt, shroud your sprout.

  7. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.

  8. If yor're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.

  9. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.

  10. Before you bag her, sheath your dagger.

  11. It'll be sweeter if you wrap your peter.

  12. If you slip between thighs, be sure to condomize.

  13. To save embarrassment later, cover your 'gator.

  14. She won't be sick if you wrap your dick.

  15. If you go into heat, package your meat.

  16. While undressing Venus, dress that penis.

  17. When you take off her pants and blouse, suit-up that trouser mouse.

  18. Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.

  19. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.

  20. Befo' da van start rockin', be sho' yo' cock got a stockin'.

  21. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.

  22. The right selection? Sack that erection.

  23. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.

  24. A crank with armor will never harm her.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • The Condom Game
  • Condom Reef Discovered
  • Condom Mystery
  • Man Caught in Condom Vending Machine
  • Condom Salesman
  • Condom Thieves
  • Automatic Condom Machine
  • Man Dies from Busted Condom
  • A new slogan
  • Condom Sense
  • The Latest in Condom Technology
  • New Condom Line
  • A Quickie Now Made Quicker
  • Twinkie
  • Icy Mike
  • Homework for the Guys
  • The organ
  • More Strange Facts
  • Reform school for drivers
  • This Budīs For You

  • More Bar Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    HAHA first! (0 replies)  
    started by Pontifex
    (08.19.2000 3:10:50 PM EST)

    Losers...

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Psychiatrists Vs. Bartenders
    Ever since I was a child I've always had a fear of ...
    05.01.2009

    In Need of a Push
    A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. 'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it's 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed ...
    01.28.2009

    Beer And Walking
    A recent study found the average American walks about ...
    08.08.2008

    More Or Less?
    A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ...
    08.06.2008

    Rate This!

    1.98 Goofballs of 5
    262 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Beer And Walking
    A recent study found the average American walks about ...
    08.08.2008

    More Or Less?
    A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman ...
    08.06.2008

    Irish Lent
    An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry ...
    06.10.2008

    New Drink
    A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks, "Bartender, ...
    03.21.2008

    Two Years Ago
    Impossible To Say While Drunk
    Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk.
    10.20.2007

    Eighteen Double Vodkas
    A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman ...
    08.23.2007

    Stealing From A Drunk
    A young man is staggering about drunk with a key in ...
    07.18.2007

    Free Drinks
    Larry and Steve wanted to go out drinking; they only had $2.00 between them. Larry said, "Hang on, I have an idea."
    11.08.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Austin Powers: International Man of...

    Casino Joke
     
    I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
     
     

    Goofball Facts
     
    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.