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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
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George W. Bush |
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"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose, "You disarm, or we will.'" —Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks at a Sununu for Senate Fundraiser," Oct. 5, 2002
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Random Quote |
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"I have a map of the United States, life size. 1 mile equals 1 mile. It'ssure hard to fold."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
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Snapple Facts |
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#196 If you doubled one penny enery day for 30 days, you would have $5, 368, 709. 12#197 The first person crossed Niagra Falls by tightrope in 1859.
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Yo Mama ... |
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so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.
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One Liners |
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Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: Beat it-we're closed.
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 National Condom Week | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 12/01/1998 | | |  |
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The following is a list of possible slogans promoting National Condom Week.
- Cover your stump before you hump.
- Before you attack her, wrap your wacker.
- Don't be silly ... protect your willy.
- Before you blast her, guard your bushmaster.
- Don't be a loner ... cover your boner.
- When in doubt, shroud your sprout.
- You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.
- If yor're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
- If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
- Before you bag her, sheath your dagger.
- It'll be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
- If you slip between thighs, be sure to
condomize.
- To save embarrassment later, cover your 'gator.
- She won't be sick if you wrap your dick.
- If you go into heat, package your meat.
- While undressing Venus, dress that penis.
- When you take off her pants and blouse, suit-up that trouser mouse.
- Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
- Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
- Befo' da van start rockin', be sho' yo' cock got a stockin'.
- Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
- The right selection? Sack that erection.
- Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.
- A crank with armor will never harm her.
Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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The ashes of the average cremated person weigh nine pounds.
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