[ If you ever have to write a letter of recommendation for
a fired employee, here are a few suggested double-entendre
phrases that will allow you to remain politically correct:]
For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed her career was just taking off."
For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
"Every hour with him was a happy hour."
For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put
in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for
you."
For an employee who is so completely unproductive that the job
he wasn't doing is better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."
For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a
job candidate for any position:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an
offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this
candidate or recommend him too highly."
For that truly stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no
qualifications whatsoever."
For that dishonest employee who continually lies:
"Her true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."
