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George W. Bush
"The consultation process is a positive part of really allowing people to fully understand our deep concerns about this man, his regime and his desires to have weapons of mass destruction. Last question—and then I've got to go chip and putt for a birdie. [Laughter.] It was a good drive." —Bush, interrupting an Aug. 10 golf game in Waco, Texas, for a Q & A discussing possible U.S. military action against Iraq. Source: The Washington Post, "White House Veteran to New Guy: Oh, Beha-aaa-ave!," Lloyd Grove, Aug. 13, 2002

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"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
— Steven Wright, Comedian

Snapple Facts
#204 A stamp shaped like a banana was once issued in the country of Tonga.

Yo Mama ...
so ugly she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares!

One Liners
Q: What's another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-dough.

CEO Training

By: acidintervalPublished: 02/11/2003
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The ousted CEO of a company decided to help out the incoming CEO. "I've left two envelopes in the safe," the departing CEO said. "When you encounter a crisis you can't handle, open the first envelope. If you run into more trouble, open the second one."

A few months later a crisis hit. The new CEO opened the safe and took out envelope marked 1. Inside a note that read, "Blame me." It worked like a charm. A few months later the company's stock plummeted. The CEO took out the secone envelope. This note said "Prepare two envelopes."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of

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  • More Business Jokes...


    This Section


    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Keep 'em coming Acid (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (02.11.2003 11:16:49 PM EST)

    I know GP and I tease a lot about having already heard some of these but without your support we'd be reading the same ones over and over and over....

    This one was funny...

    ^5 buddy.

    Just protecting my sheep
    LMAO (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (02.11.2003 9:48:40 PM EST)

    This is so true.

    CEOs (0 replies)
    started by willi
    (02.11.2003 2:41:07 PM EST)

    are not the only ones that thrive on this system of accountability. Presidents love it, too!

    LOL (0 replies)  
    started by tjshere
    (02.11.2003 4:11:48 AM EST)

    I guess if CEO #1's ideas were so good he wouldn't have been ousted in the first place.

    my schween is small but my tongue is mighty! is not responsible for any content which individual users post. reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.

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    97% of all paper money in the US contains traces of cocaine.