"I've been to war [sic]. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war." -- Bush, flat out lying in 2002.
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry
#119 The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.
Yo Mama ...
is so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A: Bingo.
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying... 'Congratulations on your new location!'"
mine should say:
He's sure to go to Heaven,
cause he's already served his time in Hell.
(06.19.2003 0:42:57 AM EST)
the card at the funeral could have read, "I'm sorry I fucked your sister."
Damn right TJ... Ole Yeller lives on.
(06.19.2003 0:29:33 AM EST)
At least the note at the funeral didn't say, "Thanks for last night".
LOL! Good `un, MC. And it was short enough to keep Ole Yeller alive. ;^)
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