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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"We've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are." - Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs."
— Nancy Reagan, former First Lady, when asked a political question while at a "Just Say No" r"Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
— Accused thief who undertook his own defense at his trial, to his alleged victim, as reported in the National Review
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Snapple Facts |
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#51 There are 63,360 inches in a mile.
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Yo Mama ... |
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... is so fat, She tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out!is so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
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One Liners |
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Q. How many NYU students does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Nobody knows, as soon one of them gets to the top of the ladder, they jump.
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 Paddy the Irishman | | By: PeteTogias | Published: 02/06/1999 | | |  |
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Paddy the Irishman was shipwrecked on a desert island. Unconscious for hours, he lay face down in the sandy beach, and was found in this condition by a tribe of cannibals. When he awoke, he found himself tied up in a great big cauldron, full to the brim with water, vegetables, and loads of lovely herbs and spices floating all around.
As he came to his senses, the chief cannibal grabbed him by the hair and shook him violently saying, d'ye see this spear, well I'm gonna ram this into your neck, an' kill ye, and then we're gonna eat ya'.(The chief was originally from Dublin, but had emigrated years earlier)
Paddy said nothing, and then the chief took several paces back,faced Paddy, and started to run at him with the spear out before him. As he reached Paddy, he noticed that Paddy was laughing, stopped, and said to him,'Do you realise what I just said to you'? At which Paddy was in stitches, spilling water from the
cauldron onto the sand.
'I'm gonna ram this spear into your neck and you're gonna die, an we're gonna melt you down and eat you.' So, again the chief took a run at Paddy, and again stopped a few inches short. 'Are you thick or sometin', what are
you laughin' at ? Do you not realise that you're gonna die?Again the chief took another run at Paddy and stopped short again.
'Is there something funny about this, that I don't see?' 'Yeah', says Paddy, 'every time you run at me with that spear, I keep shittin in the pot'.
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Goofball Facts |
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Goldfish remember better in cold water than warm water.
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