Its Tough Being Scottish
By: donutncoffee	Published: 07/29/2005
A Scottish Jew who had worked hard all his life in Scotland decided that he would like to enjoy life a little, so he went to the exclusive St. Andrews Club. He was told on applying that his application would have to be approved by the Membership Board and that he would have their decision in a couple of days. Two days later he was told that his application was refused. He went there to find out why. He was asked, "You're Jewish, aren't you?" "Aye" he answered, "but I'm as Scottish as you are Jock." "Well, you understand that we wear nothing under our kilts." "Aye, I know that." "And being Jewish, you must be circumcised." "Aye I am that" Well, the board decided that they could not stand a circumcised man parading around with us." "Och, away with ye man," he cried. "I know I must be a Protestant to march in the Orangeman's parade, and a Catholic to belong to the Knights of Columbus, but this is the first time I've heard that a man had to be a complete prick to be a Scotsman!" Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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lmao (0 replies) started by donutncoffee (07.29.2006 12:43:01 PM EST) at this i still find it funny and at all the jokes gp posted here to keep us entertained

You think (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (08.01.2005 9:41:22 AM EST) it's tuff being Scottish? One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?" In one voice they all replied, "You did, Daddy!"

You think (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (07.31.2005 9:52:20 AM EST) it's tuff being Scottish? A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"! The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are tuff and they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!" The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

I'm not doing this everyday (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (07.30.2005 8:46:35 AM EST) but here's today's joke. Saturday - July 30th A Grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around Wal-Mart in a buggy. Each time she put something in the basket she would say, "And here's something for you, Diploma." Or "This will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on. Eventually a bewildered shopper who'd heard all this finally asked, "Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?" The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to LSU and this is what she came home with!"

You think (1 reply) started by thegrandpatron (07.30.2005 8:43:33 AM EST) its tough being Scottish? Just try and get a new joke around here everyday. Now that's tuff.

You think (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (07.30.2005 8:42:24 AM EST) it's touff being Scottish? Just try to move to England right now.

This might explain (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (07.29.2005 8:49:38 AM EST) Jimmy Swaggart.

I wonder (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (07.29.2005 8:47:26 AM EST) if the pope has to undergo this test also?

Hahahahahahaha!! (0 replies)   started by tjshere (07.29.2005 5:36:03 AM EST) Gee, I didn't realize that I know so many people of Scottish descent. Hell, half the folks here qualify! LMAO! Funny as hell, `Nut!

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