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George W. Bush
 
"Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein ... don't follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq isliberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Taking Action to Strengthen Small BusinessRemarks by the President on the Economy," Jan. 22, 2003
 
 

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"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
— Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota. (1996)
 
 

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Amazing Elevator

By: VirtualJulPublished: 06/14/2000
 
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that would move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    fuckin first (0 replies)
    started by elsporker
    (06.14.2000 3:51:14 PM EST)

    now im like all the other assholes

    Mile away (0 replies)  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (06.14.2000 3:51:13 PM EST)

    I saw the punchline coming

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