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Paddy the Irishman

By: PeteTogiasPublished: 02/06/1999
 
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Paddy the Irishman was shipwrecked on a desert island. Unconscious for hours, he lay face down in the sandy beach, and was found in this condition by a tribe of cannibals. When he awoke, he found himself tied up in a great big cauldron, full to the brim with water, vegetables, and loads of lovely herbs and spices floating all around.

As he came to his senses, the chief cannibal grabbed him by the hair and shook him violently saying, d'ye see this spear, well I'm gonna ram this into your neck, an' kill ye, and then we're gonna eat ya'.(The chief was originally from Dublin, but had emigrated years earlier)

Paddy said nothing, and then the chief took several paces back,faced Paddy, and started to run at him with the spear out before him. As he reached Paddy, he noticed that Paddy was laughing, stopped, and said to him,'Do you realise what I just said to you'? At which Paddy was in stitches, spilling water from the cauldron onto the sand.

'I'm gonna ram this spear into your neck and you're gonna die, an we're gonna melt you down and eat you.' So, again the chief took a run at Paddy, and again stopped a few inches short. 'Are you thick or sometin', what are you laughin' at ? Do you not realise that you're gonna die?Again the chief took another run at Paddy and stopped short again.

'Is there something funny about this, that I don't see?' 'Yeah', says Paddy, 'every time you run at me with that spear, I keep shittin in the pot'.

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