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It's just my opion, I could be wrong
(5 replies)
started by
thegrandpatron
(03.15.2004 10:27:27 AM EST)
1. Your skin is actually an organ! :
My organ is actually covered with skin.
2. This year, more than 2.5 million books will be shipped with the wrong covers! :
This year I will receive 2.5 million catalogs I never ordered.
3. Thomas Jefferson was the first U.S. President to greet people with a handshake. Earlier Presidents bowed! :
They all had affairs with their slave maids though.
4. Men are proportionately stronger than horses! :
Yeah but my schween doesn't almost touch the ground. Advantage horses.
5. Food can only be tasted if it is mixed with saliva. :
I'm still not sending any food back to the kitchen. That's what they do when you do that you know. Spit on it.
6. People in nudist colonies play volleyball more often than any other sport! :
I guess ogling isn't a sport.
7. Armadillos can get leprosy. :
They can have it.
8. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lightning than women! :
That because they lie more than women. Would the main cause of men's lying be the fact that women insist on asking too many questions?
9. In almost all countries, first-cousin marriages are legal! :
I didn't know Arkansas was a country.
10. The face of a penny can hold about 30 drops of water. :
I've went out with Penny. Her face can hold a lot of different drops.
11. For every gallon of sea water, you get at least a quarter pound of salt. :
This may be why when men step out of the ocean it looks like they have Salt Peter.
12. The earth's crust is 47% oxygen, while the air we breathe is only 21% oxygen! : Doesn't matter I don't eat pizza crust either.
13. Female canaries cannot sing. :
Much like most drunken women can't sing on Karaoke Night.
14. Americans will eat at least 90 acres of pizza today! :
That's not even close to the number of Burritos that will be ate by illegal aliens in Texas alone.
15. Rubber is one of the ingredients in bubble gum. :
Only because some women won't take the gum out of their mouths when giving head. I'm not complaining mind you.
16. The most popular Campbell's soup in Hong Kong is 'Watercress and Duck Gizzard'. :
The most popular Campbell in the US is Noami.
17. Frogs can't drink. :
My sister-in-law can't either. Man she's a mean drunk
18. In England, a cigarette is called a 'Fag'. :
I thought everyone in England was a 'Fag'.
19. Goldfish remember better in cold water than warm water. :
My wife remembers everything thing I every said while I was drinking.
20. The sting from a killer bee contains less venom than the sting from a regular bee! :
Yes but a regular bee doesn't sting you a 1,000 times like killer bees do.
21. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs! :
Yeah but it would only take Rosie O'Donnell, Oprah Winfrey, and Roseanne Barr to do the same thing.
22. An Australian earthworm can easily grow to over 10 feet long and almost a whole inch thick! :
I guess the next time I visit, I'd better skip the hotdogs huh?
23. Three Mile Island is only 2 1/2 miles long. :
It was apparently named by a man with a government job.
24. It's illegal to own a red car in Shanghai, China. :
I wouldn't recommend standing in front of a tank there either.
25.It's illegal to stare at the mayor of Paris! :
That's because most people end up pointing and laughing.
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