Signs the Apocalypse is Upon Us
By: Phantom	Published: 12/21/1998
The 40 page December issue of "Rip City", the official publication of the Portland Trailblazers, does not contain a single photo of or reference to a current Blazers player. Lawrence Taylor, fresh off his triumphant cameo in "The Waterboy", will join Al Pacino and Cameron Diaz in Oliver Stone's next film. The International Badminton Federation has suspended Indonesia's Budiarto Sigit, a men's doubles world champion, for 13 months and fined him $2,000 for testing positive for anabolic steroids. Earlier this year, before they could perform at the Cal-Stanford game, both teams' mascots -- Oski the Bear and the Stanford Tree -- were required to take Breathalyzer tests. The official magazine of Britain's Leeds United soccer club offers a George Graham Toilet Sticker, a photo of the team's former manager -- who went to a rival club -- meant to be placed at the bottom of fans' toilets. A Stone Mountain Ga., man was arrested and charged with murder after he used tickets taken from the three victims to treat himself and two buddies to the Oct. 18 Atlanta Falcons - New Orleans Saints game. A Michigan Beanie Baby distributor wanted to buy the Mark McGuire 70th home run ball so he can extract one million fibers from it, insert them into one million McGuire dolls, put the ball back together with new thread and sell it. The Earth Liberation Front claimed to have set fires that burned down three buildings and caused $12 million in damage in Vail, Co., to protest new ski slopes that might imperil a lynx habitat. Senate Majority leader Trent Lott of Mississippi threatened to torpedo confirmation of all Interior Department nominees if the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service doesn't extend the duck season in his home state by two weeks. Fox Sports Midwest has hired as its St. Louis Blues on-air analyst Bruce Affleck, who's the Blues' director of ticket sales. The girls volleyball coach at Channelview (Texas) High locked eight of her players in a six-by-eight-foot equipment cage for about 50 minutes because they disobeyed her order to study in the locker room. An Irish boxing organization has offered 40-year-old Lord of the Dance star Michael Flatley, who was an amateur fighter two decades ago, $1.65 million to shed his tights and climb into the ring. Two months after being acquitted of fraud charges in NYC, Don King took a group of the jurors from his trail on an all-expenses-paid weekend jaunt to the Bahamas. The National Intercollegiate Rodeo Association dropped Montana State as the site of the 1999 College National Finals Rodeo because the school refused to let sponsors Copenhagen and Skoal pass out free samples of smokeless tobacco during the event. Angry that public funds were used to build Bank One Ballpark in Phoenix, the chairman of the county Libertarian Party says he will hire a witch to put a hex on Arizona Diamondbacks players and their fans. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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A Hex? (0 replies) started by brahmazone (11.07.2001 0:49:09 AM EST) Yeah, that's one HELL of a hex put on the World Champion Arizona Diamondbacks!

Huh!?!?!? (0 replies)   started by 1ShadowWolf (08.30.2000 0:16:39 AM EST) Y-a-a-a-w-w-w-w-n-n-n-n-n!!!!! Life's too short to worry about the small stuff!!!

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