The following are reputed to be actual statements found on
insurance claim forms where car drivers attempted to summarise
the details of an accident in the fewest possible words:
*Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a
tree I don't have.
*The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of
*I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put
my head through it.
*I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
*A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
*The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times
before I hit him.
*I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother
in law and headed over the embankment.
*In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
*I had been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home.
As I reached an inter-section a hedge sprang up, obscuring my
vision and I did not see the other car.
*I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel
and had an accident.
*I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my
universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident and
damage my big end.
*As I approached the inter-section a sign appeared in a place
where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to
stop in time to avoid the accident.
*To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I stuck a
*My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
*An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and
*I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my
hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
*I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side
of the road when I struck him.
*The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran
*I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off
the roof of my car.
*The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a
small car with a big mouth.
*I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found
in a ditch by some stray cows.
*The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve
out the way when I struck the front end.
*The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last
*I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been
knocked over before.