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George W. Bush
"I want the youngsters here to remember the story of Flight 93, one of most profound parts of this entire history of the recent history we've been through."Source: Federal News Service, "President Bush Remarks at Missouri Welcome," Nov. 4, 2002

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— Bill Cosby, Comedian

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#226 13 percent of the world's tea comes from Kenya.

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so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.

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Another Funny List

By: UpAllNightPublished: 05/22/2000
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The following are reputed to be actual statements found on insurance claim forms where car drivers attempted to summarise the details of an accident in the fewest possible words:

*Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

*The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.

*I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

*I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

*A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

*The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.

*I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law and headed over the embankment.

*In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

*I had been shopping for a plant all day and was on my way home. As I reached an inter-section a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

*I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

*I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident and damage my big end.

*As I approached the inter-section a sign appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

*To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I stuck a pedestrian.

*My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

*An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.

*I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.

*I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

*The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.

*I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

*The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

*I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

*The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out the way when I struck the front end.

*The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

*I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been knocked over before.

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WOW (0 replies)
started by ZaZu384
(02.25.2001 3:25:32 PM EST)

the killing the fly w/ the car one is the best

total dumbasses (0 replies)
started by aesport2002
(11.27.2000 11:42:29 PM EST)

telephones coming out of nowhere? comeone! think of something better

Good god (0 replies)
started by SirSmurf
(10.08.2000 5:47:30 PM EST)

Still more arguments for increased birth control measures

Damn you Gargamel, damn you to hell

these idiots...... (0 replies)
started by michianh
(09.26.2000 6:29:58 PM EST)

are so fucking stupid. Funny thing is, they all seem to drive in fucking southern california!

awesome (0 replies)
started by 2pac1711
(06.30.2000 2:40:40 PM EST)

this stuff is awesome keep up the good work

Stpuid people (0 replies)
started by Pawn
(06.24.2000 2:37:23 AM EST)

Where are all the stupid people from and how did they get to drive cars. I'm amazed they could find their car keys.


New Site (0 replies)
started by Britainreallysucks
(05.26.2000 2:44:56 AM EST)

Hey Goofball, tell all your sponsors that you are all idiots that made a huge mistake by redesigning the site. The new format sucks and I won't be back so I can avoid getting sucked into the abyss that is your poor taste and judgement.

Britain Really Sucks

Arthur Sam III (0 replies)
started by ArthurSamIII
(05.24.2000 4:49:44 PM EST)

I smiled agian cause I read it twice and the farmers cock woke people up and that was funny cause its not really a car.
first (1 reply)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(05.24.2000 3:32:31 PM EST)

fuckin first is not responsible for any content which individual users post. reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.

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    Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.