Some time-honored truths
By: Robnoxious	Published: 12/05/1998
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. The older you get, the better you realize you were. I doubt, therefore I might be. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. Women like silent men, they think they're listening. Men are from earth.Women are from earth.Deal with it. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. A fool and his money are soon partying. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If God dropped acid, would he see people? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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nice Carlin rip off (0 replies) started by Crapmonster (02.11.2001 7:00:34 AM EST) he actually sued some guy for this.

Don't sweat the petty stuff. (0 replies)   started by cheeseball (12.24.2000 2:52:18 PM EST) BUT ALWAYS PET THE SWEATY STUFF! If you don't, you just don't KNOW what you're missing!

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