"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." - Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003
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"Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating." — Ron Fairly, San Francisco Giants broadcaster, during on-air game coverage
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#52 11% of people in the world are lefthanded.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
One Liners
A man wearing Saran Wrap clothing visits a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist says, "I can clearly see your nuts."
Q: What is THE main reason Santa is so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he
does, it's down the chimney.
Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?
A: Because they were originally made for children but it's the
fathers who want to play with them.
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
A: You do all the work, and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
A: They both have ornamental balls.
Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes
the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A: They go into town, and blow a few bucks.
Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snow ladies ?
A: Snowballs.
Q: Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
A: Because the snow blower was coming down the block.
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yeah,
(0 replies)
started by
doublej1984
(11.22.2000 4:23:16 PM EST)
could have been better. A few were ok.
chicken and pussy don't mix. (Learn from expeareance)
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Holidays Tips For Eating 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
12.16.2006
