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#134 An ant can lift 50 times its own weight.
Yo Mama ...
is so short she can play handball on the curb.
One Liners
Q: Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres almost drowned? A: She was found face down in Ricki Lake.
Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right! Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had while
making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree!
Santa was furious! "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours - all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet!
What am I going to do?"
Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. He says "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?"
And thus the tradition of an angel atop the Christmas tree came to pass...
Awwwwww
(0 replies)
started by
cheeseball
(12.20.2000 7:48:17 PM EST)
Aint that cute. The tree went up his bung-hole.
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Holidays Tips For Eating 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
12.16.2006
