"There was a good news story in Mississippi. I went down there and—itwasn't because of me, it was because the doctors and the citizens understandthe cost of a trial system gone array and they got themselves a law."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Calls for Medical LiabilityReform," Jan. 16, 2003
Random Quote
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance." — Tim Allen, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#221 The game of basketball was first played using a soccer ball and two peach baskets.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly they only wanted her feet for the freak show.
One Liners
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 5 years your job will still suck.
Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right! Mrs. Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had while
making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree!
Santa was furious! "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours - all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet!
What am I going to do?"
Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree. He says "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?"
And thus the tradition of an angel atop the Christmas tree came to pass...
Awwwwww
(0 replies)
started by
cheeseball
(12.20.2000 7:48:17 PM EST)
Aint that cute. The tree went up his bung-hole.
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Holidays Tips For Eating 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
12.16.2006
