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George W. Bush
 
"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country." Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at 'Simon for Governor' Luncheon," Aug. 23, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#201 The only one-syllabled U.S. state is Maine.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly she could gag a maggot on a gutwagon.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
 
 



34,526 articles November 23, 2009 558,335 postings




for 2/1999
sorted by Date

Ass Face
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the...
Published : 02.28.1999

Rate: 3.19
The Beautiful Secretary
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes...
Published : 02.28.1999

Rate: 3.11
The Itch That Wouldn't Quit
A teacher notices that a little boy at the back...
Published : 02.28.1999

Rate: 2.97
A Confession
A man is driving down the road and sees a nun hitchhiking...
Published : 02.27.1999

Rate: 2.89
Firm this up
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said...
Published : 02.27.1999

Rate: 3.10
One Day In the Jungle...
One day in the jungle, the Cannibal Chief's sun and...
Published : 02.27.1999

Rate: 3.03
Superman's Sex Life
One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So,...
Published : 02.27.1999

Rate: 3.30
Bear Hunting
A bear is getting shot at when he asks the hunter to ...
Published : 02.26.1999

Rate: 3.00
Cherry Hill
On top of Cherry Hill...
Published : 02.26.1999

Rate: 2.87
Prostitute Parrots
A lady approaches her priest and tells him, Father, I have a problem...
Published : 02.26.1999

Rate: 3.01
Drinking Buddies
A guy calls his old, recently married drinking buddy and...
Published : 02.26.1999

Rate: 3.23
The Designated Decoy
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly...
Published : 02.26.1999

Rate: 3.23
Busted
A little boy walks into his parents room while they...
Published : 02.26.1999

Rate: 3.00
Don't Do Drugs
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge...
Published : 02.25.1999

Rate: 3.14
The Mailman's Last Day
It was George's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather..
Published : 02.25.1999

Rate: 3.05
Cannibalism
Three explorers are captured by cannibals...
Published : 02.24.1999

Rate: 2.96
The Brass Rat
A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around...
Published : 02.24.1999

Rate: 3.11
How to convince him you're a virgin
A real old-time joke that's still guaranteed to get a laugh! I asked a very old old joke-teller what his all-time favorite joke was, and this is what he came up with. It's from the 20's or 30's, but it still brings a laugh in the 90's and I'm sure it will still be funny in the new millenium!
Published : 02.23.1999

Rate: 3.25
A bird, a cow, and a cat
A bird decides not to fly south one winter...
Published : 02.23.1999

Rate: 2.94
Origin of Lawyers
Sally finds out the true origin of attorneys when she makes a routine visit to her doctor...
Published : 02.23.1999

Rate: 3.15
Hippie And The Nun
A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat...
Published : 02.23.1999

Rate: 3.14
Heaven And Hell
One day, an repair man died. he was the kind of repair man that fixed stuff, like air conditioners...
Published : 02.23.1999

Rate: 2.76
The Priest And The Trucker
A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road...
Published : 02.23.1999

Rate: 3.04
Proposed Penis Tax
One of the only things the IRS hasn't taxed in America yet is the Penis ...
Published : 02.22.1999

Rate: 2.85
Two Hunters
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump...
Published : 02.22.1999

Rate: 3.02
Pharmacy Boy
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms...
Published : 02.22.1999

Rate: 2.97
Lunch Anyone
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger...
Published : 02.22.1999

Rate: 2.97
Katsup
bety sue and billy bob had been dating and billybob was in desperate need of a blow job when.....
Published : 02.21.1999

Rate: 2.75
70 Year Old Parents To Be?
A 70 year old couple wanted to have children, so they went to their doctor...
Published : 02.21.1999

Rate: 2.90
The Best At ...
A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar in Newark, thinking about his wretched life...
Published : 02.21.1999

Rate: 3.04

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