"I've been to war [sic]. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war." -- Bush, flat out lying in 2002.
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry
#119 The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.
Yo Mama ...
is so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A: Bingo.