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George W. Bush
 
"This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of...You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for...We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low."-Albuquerque, N.M., the Washington Post, May 31, 2000
 
 

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
— J. Danforth Quayle
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#89 The average American walks 18,000 steps a day.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
A: Her navel.
 
 



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