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George W. Bush
 
REPORTER: "[The California recall is] the biggest political story in the country. Is it hard to go in there and say nothing about it?" GEORGE W. BUSH: "It is the biggest political story in the country? That's interesting. That says a lot. That speaks volumes." REPORTER: "You don't agree?" GEORGE W. BUSH: "It's up to—I don't get to decide the biggest political story. You decide the biggest political story. But I find it interesting that that is the biggest political story in the country, as you just said." REPORTER: "You don't think it should be?" GEORGE W. BUSH: "Oh, I think there's maybe other political stories. Isn't there, like, a presidential race coming up? Maybe that says something. It speaks volumes, if you know what I mean." —Bush, sharing his insights on the 2004 election, Aug. 13, 2003. Source: Source: PBS Online News Hour, "California Certifies 135 Candidates in Recall Election," Aug. 14, 2003.
 
 

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"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
- Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
- Advising the President.
- Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."

—David Letterman
 
 

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#185 A male kangaroo is called a Boomer.
 
 

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Jackies Joke of the day for June 30, 2000

By: Jackie Martling (Jokeland.com)Published: 06/30/2000
 
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Harry walks into work on Monday morning with a huge grin on his face.

One of his co-workers says, "Why are you so happy?"

Harry says, "I went to Bingo for the first time in my life this weekend and I won a thousand bucks."

A week later, Harry walks into work on Monday morning and he's skipping down the hall, high-fiving everyone.

One of his co-workers says, "You win at Bingo again?"

Harry says, "No, no, it's better than that. I bought my first lottery ticket this past weekend and I won ten grand. I'm feeling so damn lucky that I think I'm going to ask that new Pakistani girl in Accounting out on a date."

The next Monday morning, Harry is doing cartwheels down the hall.

One of the co-workers says, "Did you win another lottery?"

Harry says, "No, no, it's better than that. You know that Pakistani girl from Accounting I asked out? Well, we had a great time at dinner, so I invited her up to my apartment for drinks, we wind up in bed, and the next thing I know, she's giving me the best blowjob I ever had."

One of his co-workers says, "Man, are you frigging lucky."

Harry says, "No, no, it's better than that. She's blowing me, I look down, and you know that red dot on her forehead? I scratched it...and I won another ten grand."

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ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
You suck (0 replies)
started by NARDlS21
(08.05.2000 11:40:36 AM EST)

I didn't get that at all.

I need a girl bad.

hey little mite (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(07.01.2000 1:42:57 AM EST)

It's a joke people, get over it!!
Oh and HAHAHA man, stick the dynamite in your "privet" scraching place, and we all win!

huh? (0 replies)
started by xconandyx
(06.30.2000 12:30:26 PM EST)

i don't get it.

>_< (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.30.2000 12:11:41 PM EST)

bad joke against my people!! I run at you with dynamite strapped to me to blow you and your fascist american country away! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Couple problems... (0 replies)
started by dwiebe
(06.30.2000 12:08:44 PM EST)

Pakistanis are mostly Muslim, not Hindu. And among Hindus, those dots are like wedding rings: it means she's married. And it's not a real good idea to cuckold either a Muslim or a Hindu...they have somewhat different cultural traditions about that sort of thing than Westerners do.

I think the joke could have been improved.

BLEW!!!!! AND ALWAYS BLOW!!!! (0 replies)
started by jackhole
(06.30.2000 10:46:46 AM EST)

jackies jokes SUCK MO-FO ass all the time he is a two-bit hack and would still be working on the don and mike show(WJFK) as an intern if he didn't blow howard to get the side kick job!!!!

Not funny (0 replies)
started by tangentman123
(06.30.2000 8:54:39 AM EST)

Racist.

ROFLMAO!! (0 replies)
started by pimpdaddy
(06.30.2000 6:41:07 AM EST)

That's one of the funniest jokes I have ever heard!! LMAO!

yeeeeees (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.30.2000 1:23:13 AM EST)

I dun get it

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