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George W. Bush
 
"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than - I say more Muslims - a lot of Muslims have died - I don't know the exact count - at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." - Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004
 
 

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"The other thing we have to do is to take seriously the role in this problem of ... older men who prey on underage women.... There are consequences to decisions and ... one way or another, people always wind up being held accountable."
— Bill Clinton, June 13, 1996, in a speech endorsing a national effort against teen pregnancy, quoted in U.S. News and World Report.
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#32 There are one million ants to every human in the world.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, When she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass!"
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A. Everyone has the same DNA.
 
 


My first witness

By: robnoxiousPublished: 07/20/1999
 
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A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

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