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George W. Bush
 
"The solid truth of the matter is, when you find—if you want to help heal the hurt, if you want to you hurt people—help people in pain, the best way to do so is to call upon the great strength of the country, which is the compassion of our fellow Americans."Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks," Nov. 4, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code, he turned himself in."
— Rita Rudner, Comedian
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#225 There are towns named Sandwich in Illinois and Massachusetts.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly when she cries the tears run up her face.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
A: He did okay until his business fell off.
 
 


Yo Mama is so fat ...

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 01/01/2000
 
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    ... When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.

    ... When she dances she makes the band skip.

    ... When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

    ... She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

    ... Her ass has its own congressman.

    ... Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

    ... When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.

    ... Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

    ... Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

    ... The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

    ... "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.

    ... All the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

    ... When she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

    ... When she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

    ... She was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

    ... She's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

    ... When I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

    ... She could sell shade.

    ... When she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

    ... People jog around her for exercise.

    ... I ran around her twice and got lost.

    ... She gets runs in her jeans.

    ... Her blood type is Ragu.

    ... When she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

    ... If she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

    ... She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

    ... When she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

    ... She can't even jump to a conclusion.

    ... She went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

    ... Her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters

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    ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  
    Title: cool shit
    By: Anonymous Goofball
    Date: 04.11.2001 11:48 PM EST

    made my day a little bit more (lighter) pretty funny shit

    [ All Posts ] [ Reply ] [ Where You Are ] [ New Thread ]

    Current Thread and Replies
    cool shit  
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (04.11.2001 11:48:18 PM EST)

    made my day a little bit more (lighter) pretty funny shit


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    Maine is the only state that borders only one other US State.