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George W. Bush
 
"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
 
 

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"Guys aren't albe to get $15 or $20 million [a year] anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game."
— Orlando Magic star Penny Hardaway, bemoaning the NBA's new salary cap
 
 

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#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.
 
 

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Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
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The miraculous effects of toilet paper

By: MissAttitudePublished: 03/23/2000
 
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A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.

One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"

The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?"

:-)

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grrrrrrrr (0 replies)
started by ronnietosh
(03.20.2001 5:01:01 AM EST)

i hate u all u fecin fags

great (0 replies)
started by cuntlips
(03.15.2001 4:50:18 PM EST)

i love it

alpha hydroxy

That's a good one! (0 replies)
started by obiwan
(10.30.2000 4:49:21 AM EST)

indeed.

E-chuta!

FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(08.13.2000 9:17:20 AM EST)

THAT JOKE WAS DUMB BUT I'M 1ST

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