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George W. Bush
 
"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"-Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire, in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999
 
 

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What you mean we paleface?

By: DrEvilPublished: 01/13/1999
 
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A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to a gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,

"This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"

He replies, "Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you."

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