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"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000
 
 

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— Phillies pitcher Tug McGraw in 1975 on how he would spend his $75,000 salary.
 
 

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Familiar Drunk

By: tjsherePublished: 07/21/2008
 
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This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.

The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

Services will be held at 2:30pm Saturday at Forever Green Mortuary.

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