"I think we agree, the past is over."-On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000
Random Quote
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." — Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88
Snapple Facts
#92 Fish can drown.
Yo Mama ...
is so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
One Liners
Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? A: Beer nuts are a $1.25, deer nuts are always under a buck.
Quick Joke
Don't you feel like
sitting alone in your home, destroying your belongings while at the same time slowly losing all your household money? Try poker online
All you have to do is to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father figure
6. a teacher
7. an educator
8. a cook
9. a gardener
10. a carpenter
11. a driver
12. an engineer
13. a mechanic
14. an interior decorator
15. a stylist
16. a sex therapist
17. a gynecologist/obstetrician
18. a psychologist
19. a psychiatrist
20. a therapist
21. a good father
22. a gentleman
23. well organized
24. tidy
25. very clean
26. athletic
27. affectionate
28. affable
29. attentive
30. ambitious
31. amenable
32. articulate
33. bold
34. brave
35. creative
36. courageous
37. complimentary
38. capable
39. decisive
40. intelligent
41. imaginative
42. interesting
43. prudent
44. patient
45. polite
46. passionate
47. respectful
48. sweet
49. strong
50. skillful
51. supportive
52. sympathetic
53. tolerant
54. understanding
55. someone who loves shopping
56. someone who doesn't make problems
57. someone who never looks at other women
58. very rich
AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST PAY ATTENTION TO MAKE SURE YOU:
59. are neither jealous nor disinterested
60. get on well with her family, but don't spend more time with them than with her
61. give her her space, but show interest and concern in where she goes
ABOVE ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO:
62. Not forget the dates of:
* anniversaries (wedding, engagement, first date...)
* graduation
* birthday
* menstruation
However, even if you observe the above instructions perfectly, you are not 100% guaranteed that she will be happy, as she could one day feel overcome with the suffocating perfection of her life with you and run off with the first wild bastard-bohemian-drunk-bon voyeur she meets...
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An end with horror is better than horror without end.
