Performance Enhancing Drugs
By: MissPK	Published: 08/03/2001
With Viagra being such a great medical success for increasing men's sexual prowess, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society. Here are a few of the new ones: DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing. BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit. NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents. NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members. FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides. FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra. PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors." LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Funny! (0 replies) started by meesha (08.03.2001 1:30:29 PM EST) Great post, Miss PK! Way funny. Also, there should be Cleanagra: given to a man to make him do household chores and clean up after himself!!! *meow*

Who needs drugs (0 replies) started by marvin (08.03.2001 3:51:55 AM EST) Miss PK is the only aphrodisiac I need ;-)

Hahahaha! (0 replies)   started by kweenbee (08.03.2001 0:14:26 AM EST) That took some creative thinking. Good post, MissPK. Love the country, live to pee outside!

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