Dear Mr. Abby
By: misspk	Published: 04/09/2002
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby was a man? Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day. Then cook him a nice meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral on him. Then cook him a nice meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep never giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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This is.... (0 replies) started by bigswifty (04.11.2002 10:59:43 AM EST) as it should be. Does anyone see a problem with the current tide of political correctness

how about.... (2 replies) started by dtahellyeah (04.10.2002 4:40:58 AM EST) Q.my husband wants to have anal sex. A.you should be thankful that he is wanting to do this with you.you should invite your friend over and have the anal lube ready for your husband as a nice gift.you friend could hold you ass cheeks apart while he is reaming you out,then as a nice change of pace,swallow his nut sack as he is cumming on you ass.your husband being the caring person that he is,is trying to help you,he know that sperm is a skin tighting agent.so he is just simply trying to tighten that fat ass up for you.to make up for your lack of caring for your husband's needs and wants.whimper about your ass hurting in a low moan,as you cook him a nice meal. Don't Trust Anyone

Yep she a dude (0 replies) started by michaelcarl (04.10.2002 2:56:09 AM EST) It is societys fault because........

I immediately emailed (3 replies) started by kweenbee (04.09.2002 7:43:28 PM EST) This to my wife. ^5 Love the country, live to pee outside!

Think "Dear Abby" (0 replies) started by garibaldi (04.09.2002 10:15:05 AM EST) gonna be outta work soon, she's a quack in comparison!

I'm going to pretend (3 replies) started by thegrandpatron (04.09.2002 8:47:45 AM EST) This was written to and by "Dear Miss PK". I'll enjoy it more. ^5 Miss PK

How different (0 replies) started by marvin (04.09.2002 3:53:21 AM EST) the world might be if this was published in Cosmo.

I don't get it (2 replies) started by tjshere (04.09.2002 2:42:58 AM EST) Shouldn't this be in the "Current Events" section instead of the jokes??? ;^) Never fear.....TJ's here!

Pk bring your... (3 replies) started by acidinterval (04.09.2002 2:41:02 AM EST) bestfriend and video camera. It's been a really stressful day. Maybe we can swing by the "Condoms ToGo" store. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark. Professionals, on the other hand, built the Titanic.

Forget the meal PK (1 reply)   started by roger (04.09.2002 0:20:30 AM EST) Perhaps we can eat out. hehehe Just protecting my sheep

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