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George W. Bush
 
"In 2000, alone, obesity costs totaled the country an estimated cost of $117 billion." —Bush, promoting his Health and Fitness Initiative Source: The White House, "President Bush Highlights Health and Fitness Initiative: Remarks by the President on Fitness," July 18, 2003
 
 

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Good Comebacks

By: thegrandpatronPublished: 07/04/2002
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. HE: Where have you been all my life? SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

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    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    WTG! GP (0 replies)
    started by acidinterval
    (07.04.2002 11:33:50 PM EST)

    this was great!

    HAPPY!! 4th OF JULY...

    Funny as hell (1 reply)
    started by tjshere
    (07.04.2002 1:00:37 PM EST)

    Both Patron's and the redneck's. I never heard any of these witty comebacks because the babes wouldn't even speak to me. :^)

    Check out that tongue action!
    Never fear.....TJ's here!

    Holy shit! (1 reply)
    started by sweetiepeach
    (07.04.2002 11:33:12 AM EST)

    That was hysterical, GP! I guess experience really does pay off in the long run huh? ;))

    Wow (0 replies)
    started by thegrandpatron
    (07.04.2002 7:52:13 AM EST)

    I can't believe I submitted this. It's a long sum-bitch.

    Instaed of HE/SHE I should have used ME/EVERY HOT CHICK I TRIED TO DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL

    Just one ..... (0 replies)
    started by marvin
    (07.04.2002 2:15:45 AM EST)

    He : Every time women look at me, they can't help thinking of sex.
    She : Yeah, 'cause you look like a (*)prick.

    (*)insert the word 'little' if it applies to you.

    Playing right along: (1 reply)  
    started by roger
    (07.04.2002 1:43:21 AM EST)


    HE: You look like you'd be into S&M. I know because I'm a medium.
    SHE: Oh really? You look like a small to me

    HE: I would love to get in your pants.
    SHE: Why? I already have one asshole.

    HE: What's your sign?
    SHE: I was born under the sign of PMS. You think you're compatible?

    HE: What's that fragrance you're wearing? It smells so good.
    SHE: It's called Asshole Keep Away.

    HE: Where have you been all my life?
    SHE: Kindergarten!

    HE: Do you come here a lot?
    SHE: No, but it sure looks like you do.

    HE: My wife doesn't understand me.
    SHE: If you weren't in a bar trying to pick me up she would.

    HE: Baby, you deserve me.
    SHE: Why, have I sinned?

    HE: Haven't we met before?
    SHE: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.

    Thanks for the laugh GP


    Just protecting my sheep

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